A Big Mac or Borar-jhol?

Parenthood is fun. (yipppppeeeeeeeee!!)

..But it is definitely not simple.

The complexities are not in the process of feeding, caring, changing diapers, feeding (again), changing (again).....
Parents who are in this stage please do not be angry. You have no clue what is coming after this. Enjoy the feeding and the cleaning......
;-)
The complex part is how to 'react as a parent'? Nowadays, these little (or not so little) human beings called children, just know it ALL. There is almost nothing new to add to their immense exposure through google and hence their extreme confidence of 'knowing it all'. As a parent (who claims to be a friend as well), it becomes very difficult to come up with the correct reaction which is able to balance both roles properly. In some cases, when things are assumed to be too friendly, I have to remind him I am a mother first!!

Really not that simple anymore.

I am sure my parents struggled too, in their own way....but my parents were "only parents" when I was growing up. They became "friends" much later in life. I have no complains because I am extremely glad with the end product they created. Hi Hi Hi....

Problems were different. Reactions were different too. 'Simple' reactions like "the big eyes glare" from Ma just worked like a miracle. (Believe me, my mom has real big eyes!). Those reactions do not exist anymore. Neither do those problems. But like everything else in life, struggles are also relative. Times change, struggles change, reactions change. 
However, I feel that the  'delta'  stays the same.

All those years ago, my mom struggled to keep her calm when I was late coming home from school (No mobile phones those days). She paced back and forth in the garden with her eyes fixed on the road.

I struggle when my son is late in sending me the message " I am home" on Whatsapp. I am at work and keep checking my phone (under the table) during the team meeting.

The basic concern of both mothers, even though so many years apart is still the same. No matter where technology takes you, once a parent, always a parent (even with the 'friend' cap on!).

Going back to the 'reactions of a parent'.....

Yesterday I saw A-junior doing something on our home computer. This is a Mac computer (and we payed for it with a kidney and an arm) and he was not allowed to touch it till a few months back. By allowing him to use it, I have bestowed upon him a huge sense of responsibility and trust. I keep reminding him of that whenever I get the chance! So seeing him press the keyboard with unnecessary force and indifference was not a pleasant sight for me.

Me:  "ashte ! ashte!.... taka poyshar mormo bojho, Mac ta kharap hole? " 

[ Gently!! Gently! ..Try to understand the value of money..what if the Mac is broken?"]

A-junior: I have money in my Piggy bank!!

Me: Oi diye Mac kinte parbe na!! [ You cannot buy a Mac with that money!] 

A-junior (smiling wickedly): Of course, I can!!....A BIG MAC  is only 2.97 Euros!!

I laughed a lot ! It sounded hilarious in the context of things. But am not sure whether that was the right 'reaction of a parent' ! Maybe I had my "friend" cap on......

;-))

Borar Jhol: 
Long time back Ma used to make something similar but with mustard paste...not JHOL, but JHAL. (will share recipe later). These recipes are very difficult to make these days. Too time consuming and too patience consuming. But believe me, all the pain is worth the taste at the end.
Steaming white rice with Bora-r jhol! Give it a try.
Warning: Keep enough ingredients for frying some extra boras, if needed. Do not be upset if half of them already vanish into your stomach while frying.

Ingredients:

Bora: 
2 sliced onions
1 cup gram flour
1 tbsp rice flour
1 tbsp Kalojeere (kalaunji)
1 tsp Ajwain
1 tsp red chilli powder
salt, turmeric
Oil to fry

Jhol (Curry):
2 chopped tomatoes
1 chopped onion
2 cubed potatoes
10-12 curry leaves
1 tsp mustard seeds
1 tsp grated ginger

Ready steady cook:

• In a bowl mix all the ingredients from the 'Bora'.
• Heat oil in a pan. Deep fry the bora in groups.
• Keep aside on a kitchen tissue to soak the extra oil  (this step really helps making you guilt free). 
• In a separate pan add one table spoon oil.
• Add the mustard seeds and chopped chillis. Let them sizzle for a while.
• Add the onion. Fry for a while. Add the potatoes, grated ginger and the curry leaves.
• Cook till the potatoes become light brown in colour. Add chopped tomatoes.
• Add salt and turmeric. 
• Cover and cook on low heat till potatoes are cooked. 
• Add a cup of water and bring to a boil.
• Add the bora (pakoras) and switch off the heat. Cover it for a while.
• Add a small spoon of ghee before serving.(Optional) 
• Serve hot with rice.

The Sound of Music......lingers on....and on....and on....

No, A-junior has not stopped his cheeky comments and I have not stopped enjoying them either...

But I have been focusing a bit on "HijiBiji"--my first Bengali book....hence could not pen down my thoughts here.

On top of that there was the summer vacation.

......and on top of that, A-senior was traveling for work!

.........and on top of that.....let it be. 

I am back. I still appreciate "The Gift of Life", everyday.

;-)

Austria.

This country which I visited for the first time, definitely deserves a blog post. 

There are some places on Earth where the moment you set foot on, it brings back your faith on many things. This was the feeling I had when we reached our small village Kleinarl in Austria.

Snugly set between rugged mountains, gentle slopes, lively waterfalls, narrow roads and beautiful flowers...this village is a life size version of the painting we all made in our childhood. Mountains, river, birds, sun peeping out................restores faith in everything good, unpolluted, pristine!

I found it prettier than Switzerland. It is still left with lot of untouched freshness. Still very new to my eyes and not immediately recognizable (thanks to Bollywood) with "Ah , I know that fountain! Govinda danced around it in Jodi No. 1" or "That's the cow that Sharukh Khan and Kajol patted in Dilwale". Jokes apart, far less commercialized.

I would definitely want to go back again for another vacation to Austria.

The first day, after a very long drive of almost 12 hours, as we checked into our vacation house, we were informed that there is a "summer festival" in the village. Local people dressed in traditional Austrian dress gathered in the village center to celebrate with beer, music in the background, talking loudly, singing and some dancing as well. We sat down to enjoy with some beer as well. It is the ambience that creates the magic. Normally I do not like beer at all...but I had no clue how and when I ordered my second. The church bell in the distance took me away to some faraway land where I was also dressed in that traditional attire dancing to the tune of something that A-senior was playing on a guitar (ahem!). A-junior was trying to ....trying to...
'Ma, can I have another chocolate ice cream?'....brought me back to my senses...

'No you cannot!, you just had one!!'
'But it is vacation Ma!!'

The view from the balcony was the highlight. I really wondered if I should go anywhere else or just sit around and laze for the rest of the week, absorbing the beauty around me! Whether it was the long walks by the stream or the cycling paths or the garden chair...there was beauty all around. Even going to the supermarket around the corner of the street was like going for a sightseeing trip. It had a tiny waterfall, a wooden bridge, pine trees, wild flowers and a log cabin..all within those 100 m between the house and the super market.

Everything around me were perfectly synchronized with each other...and there was the sound of "peace" everywhere. I just cannot stop writing now.......bear with me.

One of the other highlights was Salzburg with its smell of " The Sound of Music".

Once upon a time this movie was shown in my school..one of the very first 'romantic' movies we were allowed to see, shortly followed by "The Roman holiday".Seeing these movies at an age when 'romance'  was THE thing to be curious about and THE thing which was not freely discussed--these movies are very special. These two movies are capable of triggering nostalgia at any point of time. So taking the "the sound of music" tour in Salzburg was so very special that I did not hesitate to sing the song Edelweiss or Do re mi full volume with our tour guide!! They were definitely "few of my favourite things"...Thanks to Whatsapp, I could even share this beautiful moment and experience with my classmates with whom I had shared the movie together in our school blue skirts all those years ago!

Remember this house??

Most of you know what a big foodie I am.( the word 'big' has no double meaning, by the way).

Food was fabulous. Schnitzel was the highlight of course, and the sausages and the ice cream and the cheese cake and the lamb and the....uff!

Yes, we did walk a lot and cycle a bit. This was not so much intentionally done to lose the calories from the above intakes (refer to photos above), but this is what you do in Austria. The land of mountains demand that you walk, run, cycle, ski, trek and climb.....so we did.

A-senior and A-junior

But in one specific case even though we had the energy we actually did not have the right shoes (I see that 'what an excuse' smirk on your face!)

The day went like this.

After some initial googling, we decided to visit this beautiful lake near our house -Jagersee. It was a very warm day and was the last day of our vacation. I put on this pretty skirt with a pair of light pump shoes, both A-junior and senior had short pants with strap shoes and we set off for the lake visit. The lake was stunningly beautiful complete with crystal blue water with a white swan swimming in it. I am sure the first photo of this blog captures a glimpse of the beauty I am talking about. However, after a few photo session clicks, we noticed a narrow dirt road on one side of the lake where many cars were going. A man was sitting there with what appeared to be tickets. The cars stopped by him, got a ticket and moved on into the mountains. The Bhattacharyas got excited too. A-senior immediately went to get the car from the normal parking lot while I waited close to that road with A-junior. Suddenly the man with the tickets came up to me..." well ..ahemm....actually ....are you planning to go up?"

I happily said "yes!!" assuming that he will be happier to sell another ticket.

He said , "Well...hmm...I think you are not suitably dressed for that!, it has a car drive of 4 kms and after that there is a trek of 2 hours to the other side of the mountain!"

I mumbled a 'thank you'. But by then the car was there and there was no turning back ...so we got the ticket and drove on. He smiled.

At the end of the 4 km drive through a very narrow muddy road, we came to a parking lot.

As soon as I stepped out of the car, my dress hit me like a shock wave. All around us were people fully geared up for the trek...shoes, walking stick, water bottle, rug sack--the whole package!

The Bhattacharyas looked so out of place..as if we were invited to a fancy evening party on the mountains!

These hikers also gave us the 'looks'!

Not to be snubbed, the Bhattacharyas decided to at least go a few steps on the hiking path. So we did.

Within a 100 meters we realized that the ticket -man was right! No way can we go further with our ballerinas and strap shoes. We posed around for a few more photos while a few of those fully geared hikers crossed us (totally zapped look in their eyes). Finally we traced our steps back,got into the car and came back the way we went. I waved at the ticket man. He smiled , his eyes clearly said 'I told you so!'.

A beautiful country. Definitely want to go back. With the right shoes this time.

;-)

Non-consensus and Dal Tadka

With the 40's, the eye liner came into my life.  A new addition to the almost-non-existent make-up kit ! Remember how my mom mistook the dark lines so carefully drawn on my eyelids as "dark circles due to some liver problem"?. Shocking!

The journey from one end to the other was initially very smooth but as time went by, the motion of the eyeliner brush on the eyelids became more jerky....do not ask me why....bad people call them wrinkles. I do not care. Apparently.

Anyway, this is not a post to talk about eyeliners or wrinkles or age. But it will definitely talk about wisdom....which somehow deserted me when I volunteered as a group leader for the school trip. What was I thinking?

11 yr old boys....off for a day trip in a theme park....ME volunteering to lead a group!!

I had also volunteered for a school trip few years back. It was difficult at that time as well, but this time when I came back from the trip, I was totally "kaput"!

Ah, then I realized, this time I went with the eyeliner on!! [No need to calculate anything!!]

Being in charge of five such boys (including my own) can be quite challenging. No matter how much wisdom you have, challenges can come in from any corner and every corner.

The trip started off very well. The bus was ready. We, the volunteer mothers were given some basic instructions and off we went, kids happily waving good bye to the parents who came to see them off. The ones with the "wisdom" of not volunteering (shhhh;-)

The theme park, Efteling is about 1.5 hrs drive from the school. Clearly the patience span of a 11-yr old is nowhere near that number. So after the first 30 mins, when the 'yeaaaahhh school trip' euphoria passed over, one persistent question popped up almost every 5 mins "when do we reach? , How long?,  How far?" ....

We, mothers tried our best to maintain a straight face, a calm mind and a cool head and kept on answering, "an hour left.....55 mins.....50 mins..... so on". Wisdom helped a bit.

On reaching the park, within the first 5 mins I realized that I needed a strategy. Immediately after the entrance, at the very first crossing, two of them said 'left', the other three said  'right'. 
I said (smiling strategy), let's take the right, look at the park map first and decide which rides to take. Two faces became unhappy already.
As soon as we reached the map,

Two  said 'roller coaster first'!

One said 'boat ride'!

Two said ' we want to eat first'!

No consensus . 

I managed somehow (change-the-topic-strategy) and went to the first ride that I saw with the belief that if I can put them in that, I can get atleast 4-5 mins of thinking time to plan my next move (buy-some-time-strategy).

It was a ride on a medium sized Dolphin shaped thing.

One said 'Too childish'

Two said 'Cool'

One said ' I have motion sickness'

One said ' I told you I am hungry'

I shuddered at the thought of what the next few hours  would be like. 
I used my interpersonal skills (negotiation strategy) to the maximum and finally could get all the boys on that ride, including me! As soon as the spin started, kids (as we know they are) immediately shrieked with delight forgetting all disagreements they had! Phew.......

We moved on to the next. However, being the peak season for school trips in the country, each of the rides had a waiting time of 45 mins on average. Just stand and wait. Not easy for 11-yr olds!

By then, one of them had also started eating candies to solve his hunger problem. I have never seen a kid eat so much candy. The mother-in-me started off by trying to reason with him to which he seriously said "it's ok"! My face must have changed contours and my voice must have gone up by a few decibels ...A-junior hurriedly came up to me and said in Bengali "ma tumi jeno abar oke boko na" [Mom don't scold him like you scold me!]

Good reminder A-junior. I am sure at that moment he was thinking, "why did MY mom have to volunteer?"

;-)

Lunch time.
Two said, " french fries".
One said," chocolate waffle"
Two said, "Not now, we are full".
The school lunch coupon which allowed only french fries saved me this time to establish consensus.
After lunch, I was offered this innocent looking white candy. I vaguely remember A-junior shaking his head may be to warn me not to accept it. I should also have been aware since the white thing was called "fireball". But I was in a fun (trying-to-be-a-cool-mom-strategy) mode so I accepted it graciously and ate the candy with a smile on my face. It was so sour that first it killed all my taste buds, threatened to bring out the acids from my small intestine and within moments the interior of my mouth was robin blue. I hid my shock and laughed (hide-your-feelings-strategy). It definitely helped in the bonding. While the boys laughed with me and walked ahead, I desperately searched for a garbage bin.

One in the group was very confident about the park from the very start. He kept on saying "I have been here many times, this is my 12th time so I know all about this park". I appointed him as our tour guide only to realize within a few minutes that he had no sense of direction! We walked around the same ride twice, our tour guide completely oblivious to the fact that we were going round and round. He also refused to take any ride because of " I have already done it so many times!". At one point of time, one of his friends challenged him...and poor boy ....he finally said, he does not like doing these rides because he is not comfortable. Clearly not the 12-times-done-the-roller-coaster-guy!

I bought some chips and waffles to dilute the situation. We both sat and chatted over Minecraft while the other four waited in the line for a super roller coaster ride...everything was under control again.

Okay, so with the lack of  consensus, we ended up doing a limited number of rides ...but the boys were super tired.

Cannot describe the mother's tiredness!!...My vocabulary is not adequate to describe how "kaput" I was feeling.  The eyeliner had definitely vanished!
However, I have to admit that it was big fun too...to become a part of the "cool gang" with weird candies, unlimited hunger and limitless energy!   The gift of life!!

;-))

Dal Tadka

Today's food will be simple.  A simple dal tadka that my family loves, specially my mother- in-law.

I used:

1 cup whole red lentils

1 cup black urad dal

1 large onion chopped

2 large tomatoes chopped 

2 green chilli

2 tbsp Ginger-Garlic paste

1 bay leaves

2 tsp garam masala powder

1 tsp coriander powder

1 tsp whole cumin seeds

1 cup chopped coriander

2 tbsp cream

Cooking oil /Butter/Ghee

Ready steady cook:

• Mix and soak the two types of dal overnight.
• In a pan/pressure cooker, boil the dal with half the tomatoes, half the onions, 1 chilli, 1 tsp ginger garlic paste and one spoon coriander powder.
• Heat ghee/butter in a heavy bottom pan and add the bay leaves and whole cumin.  
• When the flavours hit your nose, add the chopped onions and the garlic ginger paste. Saute for a while till onions become light brown and then add the tomatoes. Add the coriander powder and garam masala powder .
• Add the boiled dal and bring the whole mixture to a boil. Add salt to taste.
• Mix 2 tsp of cream. This is optional. But C'mon, a little bit of cream and ghee once in a while will not harm you.
• Switch off the heat and add a spoon of ghee. Garnish with chopped coriander leaves.

Sicily: The Godfather with volcanoes in his backyard

Apart from one cancelled flight, one delayed flight, hence one missed connecting flight, a 20-hour unplanned transit, an online hotel search in Rome at 1:00 a.m on an ipad with 14% battery charge available, a ridiculously rude taxi driver and lost baggage....

....the rest of the trip was heavenly!
Only because: 

1. It was Italy.

The country I adore! The language I love! The food is a story! The drink is heavenly!  The music is magical! The people so stylish!...amazing country.

The golden sunshine, the deep blue waters, the red tomatoes, the  glistening olive oil...life is so colourful.
2. We were with good friends. (Such good friends that after the news of the cancelled flight we just came home together, made khichuri and officially 'started' the vacation!!)

Sicily has all the ingredients needed for a perfect vacation...the colour, the smell and the taste! Add it to your bucket list!

The vacation started with a good message. I believe in "karma" too but during the transit in Milan, it became clear that the Italians have taken karma to a different level.  Only good karma can lead to great coffee! Indeed!

A glimpse from the window as the plane landed in Catania already promised a beautiful vacation. After a wonderful drive along the coast line we reached our vacation house in Taormina. The roads were nice but had a few sharp bends due to the hilly nature of the region. The speed limits changed accordingly from 30 to 50 to 80 to 100 to 30 and 20 km/per hr at some places. Very soon we noticed that most Sicilian drivers were actually very consistent in their driving..they consistently drove at 120 km/hr ignoring all the speed limits...all of them. This consistency was also inversely proportional to their patience, hence the driver from Holland who tried to obey the speed limits got frequently honked at!

;-)

After an almost precarious parking exercise (since the house was located on a slope), the car was finally parked. The Italian vacation house owner explained some basic utilities about the house. He did not speak English at all. We did not speak Italian. But all communication was smooth and perfect. Not because I understood everything but I did not hear a single word he said. As he spoke, I stared at his face. It was like music was being played...what lovely sweet melodious words they have!Maybe he was talking about the leaking kitchen tap (which we found out later) but it sounded like he was talking about the moon, stars and love.

Tranquilo, preoccupato, delicato, dollorosso, Biongiorno,.....uff uff uff.....a language to fall in love with.

For me the best was the "speed control " signs on the road sides. 

We (non Italian, normal people) would say: "Electronic speed control". Simple, curt, to the point.

Listen carefully. They say,

"Controlle electronicco della velocita" . Repeat it to yourself a few times and you will feel you can smell the sea of Sicily...taste the pomodori and feel the Sicilian sun on you. 

Once the owner left, we rushed to the balcony. Yes! Paisa wasool already!! The view was such that for a moment it felt unreal. The majestic blue Mediterranean was in front of us. The sound of waves continuous yet never boring. The water so tranquil yet so powerful.The blue of the sky so close to the blue of the sea yet so different.

I once read in a cook book that Indians and Italians are the two nationalities who can talk about the next meal WHILE eating the current meal. Talk about lunch while eating breakfast, talk about dinner while eating lunch...infact talk about food anytime..on an empty stomach or a full stomach or even an upset stomach!!
It is so true....each dish we ordered came with such a lovely description and an even more lovely smile from the Italian waiter.....the heart was satisfied even before the stomach.
I will not be able to write about the food and the wine in such a short blog post. That will be doing terrible injustice to both. I can either skip the topic totally or only put in a few photos just to give you a feel for the "looks" and torture you with visuals. I choose the second option. The taste is beyond any description and I leave it up to your imagination.

Pizza Pizza every day.....

Fold the pizza...and whoala.....a Calzone

Prawn Risotto...heaven is here here here..

The one in the center called Arancini deserves special mention. It is special Sicilian food.
Arancini (arancini or arancine in Sicilian), are stuffed rice balls that are coated with breadcrumbs, and fried. Arancini are usually filled with ragù (meat sauce), tomato sauce, mozzarella, and/or peas. There are a number of local variants that differ in fillings and shape. The name derives from their shape and color, which is reminiscent of an orange (the Italian word fororange is arancia, and arancina means "little orange"), although in eastern Sicily, arancini have a more conical shape.[Wikipedia]

The highlight of the trip of course was the Mount Etna. The largest active volcano of Europe stood there in all its majesty, smoke coming out off its head, yet capped with white snow .
Fire burning in its heart but with a cool head! ;-)
This is the first time I have been to a active volcano. It is an experience that my literary skills will not be able to describe . On one hand, it was so beautiful that it took my breath away.On the other, it's power was so evident and the noise of the internal explosions so clearly audible that it was scary as well. I stood and watched ....belittled by its sheer size, power and majesty. 
The different traits of Mother nature .........

The land of the Godfather. Volcanoes everywhere....quite a few in his backyard. Beautiful names such as Stromboli, Vulcan, Salina, Filicudi , Alicudi.........what a landscape, what colours, what a feeling. 

The vacation came to an end but the feeling lingered on.........

A beautiful place . Sicily.

Mon-er Bhasha Matribhasha (Poyla Baishakh 2015)

Kallol junior rocks!! Each year their performance gets better and better!
;-)
Every year I promise myself that from next year I will have to take a step back and let someone else pick it up. The reason is of course "time ". Even though I strongly believe that 'Only busy people have time', yet some days I too feel the .........

But...but...but... once my troup (Kallol junior) goes up on stage and performs, my resolution of stepping back goes out of the window. I feel so proud that I start planning themes for the next 5 years!!
This year we had 15 kids participating......wonderful!
;-)

Banner design :Alka Sensarma

Our theme this year was "Matribhasha" (Mother tongue)

The Oxford dictionary defines Mother tongue as the language which a person has grown up speaking from early childhood. 

The Cambridge dictionary defines it as the first language that you learn when you are a baby, rather than a language learned at school or as an adult.

Whichever source of definition you accept, it finally means that,

Mother tongue is the language of one's heart and mind.

Today we are all witnessing a globalization where we have moved out of our home countries for different purposes, such as education, desire for a better life, the need for employment etc. Our children, therefore are growing up as global citizens. They are learning many different languages and mixing with many different cultures.

One’s mother tongue has a very important role to play in this development.

Every language has its own beauty, own melody and culture. It is our duty to hold on to this beauty and pass it on to our next generation not as a thing that they MUST learn but more like a thing to be proud of. We need to encourage our children who inspite of living in a different country can still talk in their mother tongue.

                                             ***************

Once upon a time , in a far away land, there ruled a very cruel  king. 

He did not want his subjects to talk at all . The use of one's mother tongue was totally forbidden in his kingdom for three main reasons.

1. Since mother tongue is the language of one's heart and mind, if his subjects are allowed to speak in their mother tongue, they can express their feelings and opinions in the best way. If they are allowed to do that, they will freely curse the king and his way of ruling .

2.Mother tongue is one's entity, one's personality. If the subjects develop a personality of their own then they will have more opinions which is not good for the king.

3. If one can speak his/her mother tongue, he/she can learn any language of the world. If the subjects do that they can compare and discuss their kingdom's condition with others.

No, not good for the king!!

Hence Mother tongue was banned from the land.

But there were some citizens who loved their mother tongue so much that they decided to ignore the king's command and continued to talk in Bengali, their mother tongue.

Our kids excelled in their performances as these citizens. Moharaj, Mohamontri and Jollad excelled in their roles by becoming a kid again.

 

Moharaj and Mohamontri got them one by one on stage and "punished"them for not obeying the king!

"No Minecraft for a week!!" 

"No doughnuts for a week"

"No Pizza!!"

"No play station!"

"No icecream!"

.....Punishments poured in for each of them.

Jollad, the executioner was summoned to give them the punishment.

But Jollad was a nice and intelligent man. He used his magical hammer to freeze the king and his minister and let the citizens sing and dance in joy...in their mother tongue!

Finally Moharaj and Mohamontri also understood the importance of matribhasha!!!

The ban was lifted!

Citizens shouted with joy! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!


......am so proud of you kids!!! Keep it up.....
Feel proud to know and be able to speak in your "matribhasha"
;-)

Let's start planning for next year..........