Moja-r Mete and the World's Strictest Mom

....and the award for the World's Strictest Mom goes to......you-know-who!

I covered my mouth with my hands in surprise and happiness (exactly the same way Sushmita Sen did when she won the Miss Universe title)!

The crown was about to be placed on my head.....dazzling and glittering.....my gown, a pale blue shimmering thing bounced around me as I walked down the aisle.....flushed with excitement....

.....someone pulled my evening gown. 
I tried to ignore but it was pulled again with more force this time. I could also hear a muffled question....repeated again.....like an echo...very close to me......but ....but  I am still on the stage...about to start my speech....

"Moooooommm, where is my sports bag?"

A-junior was pulling my night gown!

I woke up with a start. The dream was shattered into a thousand pieces.How did I miss the alarm? Why am I still sleeping?How on earth did A-junior wake up before me? After the initial panic subsided, I felt a bit sad. Even though the winning category was not the one that I wished for (strictest mom!!) but still.....it was a crown nonetheless!

I replied back with an impatient intensity, "Use your eyes!! the bag is where it always is, Uff"

A-junior was a bit surprised. He expected a happy mother to see him up and dressed. Instead he got an irritated mother screaming back at him....he looked genuinely puzzled.

No , I did not mention the dream to the boy! I am sure he is the one who nominated me in this category!!

;-)

Recently "money" is a big topic of discussion at home. A-junior needs more information about money. Questions regarding money are popping up now and then.....

"What is your salary per hour?" or 

"How much money can you put inside a card?" or 

"Why cannot I spend my pocket money whenever I want to ?" etc etc.

Not all answers are easy and clear for the 10 yr-old or his mother!!Uff..parenting!!!

Sometime back, I read an interesting article. It was about a family where the parents at one point of time brought home one month's salary in cash and laid it out on the table. After that they subtracted all the monthly expenses from it and literally showed the child how much is really left over to do things after paying for the basic needs. The child in the article understood. I am planning to do the same soon. Hopefully my child has a similar thought process like the child in the article.

Jokes apart, I feel it is a good thing to do rather than giving vague answers to their questions. I may not do the "in cash" bit, but can use a proper calculator to do the maths. In fact I can ask HIM to do it....a bit of an addition and subtraction exercise in the evening sounds good to me!!Of course without a calculator.

Learning the value of money is important.
;-)

The other day, A-junior went to return his library books. I was waiting outside. He came out of the library and said to me in a very casual tone,

" I forgot to return the books on time so I have to pay a fine. For six books , the fine is 12 euros"

I gave him the money. He went back, paid and came back. No questions asked.

We came back home and I asked him to get his piggy bank. I asked him to count 12 euros and give it to me.

He was shocked. Taking out 12 euros, all at once from the piggy bank of a 10-yr old is a BIG thing. plus the fact that his OWN mother was doing this to him was beyond his expectation. A few angry looks, a few "you are the strictest mom", a few sad tear drops and a few sentences later, I was successful in establishing the rule that from now on his library fines are entirely his responsibility.

I am absolutely sure that he is the one who nominated me to that category.......

;-)

Moja-r Mete (Mete chocchori)

I love 'mete' (liver) curry. The reason I call it "Mojar " mete is because of some old memories associated with it. When I was in Japan, I did not (could not) cook much, Luckily, I met A'da from Bangladesh who used to stay in the same international hostel. By profession he was a doctor but his cooking skills were way ahead of his surgical skills (I am kidding, I have no clue about his surgical skills and I want to keep it that way!!). Actually, on second thoughts, the way he sliced the onions all exactly 0.6mm thick only proved his surgical skills. He used to cook a liver curry which I can taste even today (with my eyes closed). He referred to all tasty food as "mojar".

"Kheye dekho, darun mojar hoyeche"

[Taste and see, it is really tasty].

Later on, when I started to cook, if he said "mojar hoyeche" then THAT was a real compliment. He and his wife 'S' became more than family for me in Japan.

[someday I will tell you how I met A'da in  Japan...it is a story by itself]

This dish is conventionally called "Mete chochhori".

I used:

500 gms Lamb liver
2 large onions sliced
2 large tomatoes chopped ( I used canned)
2 green chillis
2 tbsp Ginger-Garlic paste
2 bay leaves
2 tsp garam masala powder
2 pieces of cinnamon + 3-4 pods of cardamom +2-3 cloves : Crushed.
Cooking oil 

Ready steady cook:

• In a pan heat the oil.
• Add the bay leaves and the crushed mix of cinnamon, cardamom and cloves.
• When the flavours hit your nose, add the sliced onions.
• Saute till light brown and add the chillis and  ginger garlic paste.
• Fry for 2 mins. Add the liver.
• Add turmeric power, salt, garam masala and keep frying on medium heat.
• Add the tomatoes.
• Mix well and cook on high heat for 5 mins. Add a little it of water if it dries up too much.
• Serve with white rice.

Ohio Gozaimasu!! You are listening to Bharat Ki Dhadkan!!

I do not understand how Amitabh Bachchan handles his celebrity status.

I, clearly am having trouble!

;-)

The other day one of my colleagues sent me a mail saying, "D, maybe a silly question but I just saw a book in the Shell shop with the author's name exactly same as yours, do you have something to do with it?"

My fingers typed " That's actually ME" . 

I had warm air coming out of my ears while I typed. 

I also noticed that I was smiling even though it was only me and my computer.

I also deleted and rewrote the above three words three times before I could press the send button.

Clearly the situation is out of my control!!

;-)

In another incident, a 12- yr old smart boy R, the son of a very close friend, took my book (The Gift Of Life) to school (in Delhi) and successfully sold it to his English teacher. I was surprised and impressed. I was already his fan...now became even more. Not because he sold a book of mine but to think of the kind of speech that he must have used to convince his teacher !! Amazing, isn't it? I have asked for a copy of that sales speech..Really!

Again, the situation is beyond my imagination.

These incidents actually took me back in time. The time when I almost became a bit of a celebrity ....ok ok...a bit....but still......Celebrity with a Japanese connection....

Haha!

Once upon a time I used to live in Japan. 

Those days I used to have a small Sony CD-player-cum radio. Every morning as soon as I opened my eyes, my hands sleepily searched for that ON button and the radio used to start....

"Ohio gozaimasu [Good Morning]" boomed the voice of a man who was the RJ (Radio jockey) of an Indian program called "Bharat ki Dhadkan"!!FM COCOLO from Osaka!

With limited access to Indian music in Japan, this daily program of 30 mins really used to wake me up! The RJ  "S" did a wonderful job too...I felt happy and homesick at the same time and that is surely a compliment for him.

After a while, I started sending in my song requests too. I also started thinking of new ideas that can make the program more interesting. I wrote a letter to S , expressing my interest and ideas.

Within a few days, he read one of my letters on the radio. I was super happy the moment he said " Dayeeta from Kobe wants to listen to the beautiful song Pal pal dil ke pas......". 

As the timeless melody filled up my tiny room, my phone started ringing. It was him!! He wanted to know if I was interested to come to their recording studio. I could not believe my ears. I fixed a quick appointment and met up at the studios. For me it was the first time inside a proper studio..an amazing feeling. S was recording something for the program. He asked me to sit down beside him, put on the headphone and read a line from the back of a cassette cover. The famous lyricist Anjaan had just passed away and S was playing "Muqaddar ka sikander" songs. He also asked me say "Bharat ki dhadkan" few times in different ways on the microphone. It was fun. After that we chatted for a while over music in general..he showed me around the studio...we had coffee and I came back home very happy.

Next morning. My eyes opened, I sleepily switched on the radio.

"GOOOOOOD MOOORNING!! Aap sun rahe hai Bharat ki Dhadkan"......

It was MY voice on the radio!!! A few paralyzed moments ...I can still 'feel' it now.
It was being recorded the day before!!!

Long story short, S called me later in the day to ask if I would be interested in becoming his co-RJ! I blabbered something in excitement and said I need to ask my Sensei..

Being a student, I was always on the lookout for part time jobs. The scholarship was good but still an extra few bucks was always welcome!

Plus this was like a"dream" job! I did not have to think twice!

Quickly I asked permission from my professor . He agreed. I joined the radio station FM COCOLO  for a few hours per week.

Every Tuesday, I used to leave for the studio early in the morning. We recorded a weeks program together on the Tuesdays. I loved it. 

The fan mails started coming. Lot of Japanese fan mails too.

"Dayeeta-san totemo sutekina koe desu ne" [Dayeeta-san, very nice voice]

Loved the job and loved the extra Yen that poured in......and of course loved those mails.

Life continued. I woke up to my own voice everyday.....

"Ohio gozaimasu....Good morning.....you are listening to Bharat ki Dhadkan"

Few months later.

Some friends were visiting me. I took them to visit Kyoto ( my most favourite city in Japan).

We decided to have lunch at an Indian restaurant [forgot the name ;-(]. Must be 'India palace' or  ' Maharaja'.

I placed the order. We chatted away happily as we waited for the food.

Suddenly  the manager of the restaurant came by and said "Dayeeta, we have lassi for you and your friends..on the house"

[Lassi : Indian Yogurt drink]

I smiled and thanked him. Then suddenly it hit me . DAYEETA?

I asked him. "How do you know my name?"

He replied, "aapki awaaz kaun nahi pehechanta? Aap hain Bharat ki Dhadkan!"
[ Who does'nt recognize your voice?, you are Bharat ki Dhadkan!]

I do not remember how exactly I reacted. I am sure it was difficult to handle.

I am sure I had warm air coming out of my ears.....

;-)))

....so coming back to my question,

How does HE really handle it???

;-))

The BEST book review!!!

Day 1: Post arrived.

HE was extremely proud of the book. 
HE held it in his hands and turned the pages carefully.
HE smiled .
HE asked me " Mama, how does it feel to see your name on it?"
HE even asked me to take a photo with the book in his hands
HE was clearly impressed!! 

.....It was a nice feeling....difficult to describe in words!!!

Anyway, after some celebrations, it was bed time. 
A-junior asked me if he can take "The Gift Of Life" to bed for reading.
A delighted mom agreed.
I took a pen and wrote ' with Love, to my "Real" Gift of Life' on the first page.
Very filmy. Very emotional moment ( even though I am joking about it). Very AWWWW!!!!
;-)

He left with the book. I cleared the dishes , cleaned the table and went to check on him after 30 mins.
He was still reading the book.
...and he was laughing!!!Loudly!!!
I asked him " Arno, hanscho keno??" [why are you laughing]

He replied "Mama, while reading your book, I realized what a funny guy I am!!!"

The best book review I can wish for!!!!
So honest, so spontaneous, so sweet!!
I cannot hope for more........

My book says "I hope that many years later when A-Junior flips through the pages of The Gift of Life in his kitchen while cooking with his children, it will bring a smile to his lips"

I smile. I hope this wish of mine comes true. Someday.
This book is a slice of my life.

This is not a cookbook.
This is not a story book either.
This is a story telling cookbook....

......Appreciating "The Gift of Life"....

The History book comes alive.....

As our small boat cruised on the river Nile, I realized that this is not a dream come true because I never dreamed about coming to Egypt. It was too "unreal and far" to even dream about it.

Egypt always belonged to the pages of my history book for its pyramids and the ancient civilization. The river Nile was always a definite map pointing question in my Geography exams. 

Nothing more than that.

Later on it did become a bit more "real" due to the movies. 
Hollywood helped us to imagine the insides of a pyramid while Bollywood danced around it.
;-)

Gradually over the years, and with time, travel and Google, Egypt finally appeared on the "to visit" list.

I feel blessed and lucky to be able to set foot on these places which were once even beyond my dreams ....

We landed in Hurgada and then went to Luxor. Hurghada is famous for its Red Sea resorts. Dotted along the coastline, these resorts offer a comfortable and relaxing vacation.There is not much to do or see around, hence you end up either in or by the pool...a good place to do "nothing".
Luxor is the second biggest city after Cairo.It was the ancient city of Thebes, the great capital of Egypt during the New Kingdom. The city is often described as the "world's greatest open air museum". As you enter the city premises, you understand immediately what an appropriate description it is. 
Whichever way I looked, the monuments and the ruins took me back in time to the kings and the queens thousands of years ago.The gigantic structures, the scripts engraved on them, the huge statues, the guide telling the story of the kings and the queens.....transported me back to the age when these monuments were intact and the kingdom alive. I stared at the little page of hieroglyphs that the guide gave me and tried to figure out what was written so beautifully on the walls. As if I could.

The camera went click click click.  Nonstop. Everytime I tried to focus on any stone on the temple complex of Karnak, my mind wandered away to inagine a story. Each inscription on the stone was a real proof of the glorious times it had witnessed. Each broken corner of the stone was an evidence of the years it had survived. Each statue spoke about someone who celebrated a life of glory. At some point of time, I switched off my camera. It was better to look with my own eyes and let my mind wander......

I imagined the young Tutankhamun on his throne royally dressed at the age of 10.When he became the king, he married his half-sister, Ankhesenpaaten. I tried to imagine what these children experienced when they ascended the thrones of such vast empires. Did he not have the urge to hide behind his throne? Did she not feel like pulling his hair and running away? Did he not grab his bicycle(??) and race on the streets ringing the bell? Did he not get scolded by his mother for writing on the walls? Did they not play hide and seek behind these huge pillars? 

As if to prove the point, my trance was broken by A-junior shouting from behind the pillars!

"Ma, I look so small infront of this pillar!"

The temple of Hatshepsut is another amazing structure.  Built in honour of Hatshepsut who ruled Egypt from 1479 BC to 1458 BC, this temple is built into a cliff face in three layered terraces that rises upwards very sharply. I stood there mesmerized by its sheer size, feeling so small and inconspicuous..how on Earth did they plan such things without lifts and cranes and Autocad designing tools on their laptops? I could imagine rows of craftsmen sitting with their small chisels designing the pillars with utmost dedication...but I repeat..how on earth did they get those pillars to those places? Amazing.
A-junior ran up and down the stairs with R&H (my friend's daughters) . I stopped them once and asked A-junior, "Do you know how old this temple is?"
He replied confidently, "VERY old".
I left it at that instead of trying to explain the concept of BC to him. Some other time.

One of the biggest attractions was the weather and the sea side. The Red Sea resorts are a good place to forget the biting cold of Holland and let the skin get some Vit-D dose from the big bright yellow thing called the sun, which we do not get to see much in the part of the world we live in. Spotless blue skies merging with the spotless blue sea in the horizon...long rows of beach umbrellas dotting the beach line....happy men and women in colourful summery dresses.....cheerful children splashing about in the water....fantastic food....with best friends...What MORE can a vacation be?

Shopping was a mix of stress and fun. If you are a person who loves to decorate interiors, shopping will sweep you off your feet. The statues, the paintings, the stones, the papyrus, the engravings, ..I felt like buying everything. But the process of buying is a tedious one. The culture is to negotiate prices and that is a tricky one. This is a talent which not all of us possess, definitely not me. I just knew that I NEEDED to negotiate without a clue of where to start!
I loved a piece of jewelry (no diamonds!!) in a shop, tried to negotiate at a low price (as instructed by everyone), stuck to my price for maybe a bit too long and finally ended up making the shopkeeper angry. The trauma of "tried-to-negotiate-but-failed" haunted me at night..had to go back and get a similar thing from a different shop next morning.

This time due to many reasons we could not visit Cairo....hence the pyramids remain on the "to do" list....Some day.....some time.....for sure!

The food is coming.........

The Gift of Life

HAPPY NEW YEAR

For me this year started with my book. Writing is fun...but a book is really something different. For me this is like a slice of my life wrapped in a beautiful cover page.

                                                    This is not a cookbook.
                                                    This is not a story book either.
                                                    This is a story telling cookbook....
                                                     ......Appreciating The Gift of Life....


Yes, I book-ified (no there is no such word) my blog.Thanks to your encouragement that I could.
Everyday stories ...everyday food...so normal....so mundane.....yet so special!!!

I hope that many years later when A-Junior flips through the pages of The Gift of Life in his kitchen while cooking with his children, it will bring a smile to his lips.
;-)

The book is almost there. Within a few days I will be able to hold it in my hands. It will also be available online within a few days,

My little Devil loves 'Dim-er Devil'

Parenting is a tough job. 

As a parent, the aim is to achieve the right balance. You need to be strict, you need to indulge, you need discipline, you need to pamper, you need to be a friend, you need to encourage, you need to... . 

I told you, it is tough.

For me the strictness part is in my blood. I inherited it (I hope my parents are too busy to read my blog this week).

So even though I try my best to use my patience, love and flexibility to do the balancing, somehow in most cases the "strictness" part tends to dominate.

A-junior feels the same.

I end up being the " not normal" mom.

But who cares? Did SHE care when I cried and complained about HER strictness ?

No.

But SHE made me who I am today.

Therefore, we mothers have the right to judge what is good and what is bad for the kid and hence we have the right to define and redefine and re-redefine "balance" whenever we feel like.

Amen.

The morning started with a bit of a turbulence.

Just 2 minutes before leaving for school,  a frantic search for the gloves began. 

Under the table, in the bag, on the shoe rack, in the shoe rack, on the bed, under the bed.......all over the house. Under such circumstances, one cannot expect the mother's temper to stay low, right? The temper rose, so did the voice. Meanwhile the clock ticked away happily which made the temper rise even higher and the voice too. Finally, angry and sad, amidst a raging storm and the mercury at -2 degC, mother son duo left home without the gloves. The atmosphere inside the car stayed stormy -- the mother could not stop grumbling and son's eyes were brimming with tears.

Inspite of reminding him 10,000 times that the gloves and the cap needs to go into his bag as soon as he reaches school.........Ufffff.....

However, after dropping him off at school, I did feel bad. Maybe so much shouting and screaming was actually not required. I promised myself that I will handle this with patience in the evening.

[Evening: After school]

As soon as he entered the car , he smiled and said. "Ma, look, I found the gloves. Do you know where they were? They were actually infront of the gym, I must have left it there.......etc etc etc"

Awwww.....I gave him a quick hug and thought that this is the time to kind of neutralize my morning behaviour.

I said, " I know I am very strict at times. But all this is for YOUR good. You will understand when you grow up.

A-junior: (Absent mindedly) Hmm..

Me: (wanted to elaborate and make sure he understood): Even my parents were like me, very strict. You will not believe how strict dadu and dida were. But after a certain age, I understood it was all for MY good.

A-junior: Hmm...can you tell me EXACTLY at what age you understood it was for YOUR good?

I did not see this coming, hence I was not prepared with THE number.

Me: (hastily blurted out and I have no clue why):  35!

A-junior: O baba...she to onek deri!! ( Oh no!  that is really far away!!)

;-)  he winked! the little devil.....

That reminds me ...I wanted to share the recipe of "Dim-er Devil" today....

Dim-er Devil  (Egg devil : a typical Bengali snack)

I used:

• 6 Eggs (hard boiled)
• 6 potatoes (Boiled)
• 1 small onion (chopped super fine)
• 1 tbsp Ginger paste
• 1 tbsp Garlic paste
• 1 tbsp cumin powder
• 1 tbsp coriander powder
• 1 tbsp garam masala
• 1 tbsp red chili powder
• Chopped coriander
• salt to taste
• Oil for frying

Ready steady cook:

• Cut the boiled eggs into halves/quarters. (I cut them into quarters, it is easy to handle and the devils are of reasonable size, not too big).
• Mash the potatoes and mix in all the spices mentioned above.
• Heat 1 tbsp oil in a nonstick pan. Add the chopped onions and fry them till they change colour.
• Add the potato mash and cook the mixture for a while. adjust salt according to taste.
• Also mix the chopped coriander.Let it cool.

Now prepare the coating.

1. some plain white flour

2. One egg beaten

3. Bread crumbs. 

• Take one round ball of the potato mixture and flatten it in your palm.
• Place the egg quarter/half at the center and cover it with the potato mash from all sides.
• Gently press between your palm to make it into a flat oval shape. 
• Roll it in the flour, dip it in the egg and then roll it in the bread crumbs.
• Repeat for all pieces and once done keep it in the refrigerator for an hour or so.
• Deep fry them and serve with mustard sauce (or the Bengali Kasundi) and sliced onions.

Drilling a well with 'Fishy Peppers'

Very soon I have to stop with these stories. Now that he is ten, I am sure the boy will start protesting against making his stories "public".So maybe a few more here and there till the year ends.

My new year resolution will have to be "Start looking for stories elsewhere".

;-)

With age comes maturity and wisdom. For most people.

Last month, I experienced that "maturity" when  he proudly announced "Oil and gas " as his chosen topic for the yearly  "class lecture". Till last year it was the "Cars" or "Cricket" or something  like that. The double digits in age has definitely effected his choice. I think.

On one hand I was happy that he is "growing up". On the other, I was frantically thinking of a way to explain to him this topic which earns me my daily bread...Cannot be so simple, right?

Guess who came to my rescue. Mr. Google, as expected.

Google Uncle, with his huge information bank gave the boy whatever he asked for. From time to time he forwarded the boy to Wiki-Aunty. When he needed some action in the form of videos, Cousin-YouTube was ready to help. While the whole 'net' family helped him, Mommy just stood and watched and wondered, "how did we manage without Google in our childhood?".

But  back then we did not have Powerpoint either! So what would we need the photos for?

We had a syllabus and we had written exams. We had pen and paper. ( ..and No! I am not THAT old ;-))

Once the slides were done, I had a look.  My admiration for the Uncle, Aunty and the Cousin increased even more. The amount and quality of information a 10-yr old can dig out on something which is not such a "day-to-day" topic is amazing. The other amazing thing is 'this generation'. Their exposure to everything is unimaginable. Honestly, watching him "Copy paste" and press the "Save as" button with a  file name still surprises me! Exactly the same confidence with which I filled my ink pen from an ink pot at that age (with Ma saying, 'not a drop on the table!!').
;-)
However, being the mom plus being in the oil and gas business, I DID make some corrections! I HAD TO! But I have to admit it was all there , as much as required from a 10-yr old.

He started to practice. I sat infront of him  with the timer on. We practiced a lot. His confidence increased. Suddenly he stopped.

Eyes gleaming with a "let-me-give-you-some-information-which-I-am-sure-is-new-to-you" look he said , 'Ma, did you know the drilling bit used to drill the well has holes in it?'

Of course I know my dear but how can I answer this without destroying your enthusiasm ?

I said, 'Well, I know ONLY because I work with this subject but most people would not have a clue'.

A radiant smile.

He did well. Tension over.The teacher was surprised with his choice of topic. I hope he understands that I had nothing to do with it.

;-)

Fishy Peppers

The moment these peppers arrived fresh from the market, they stole my heart. Such colour, such texture, such smell...to die for. Usually they are eaten raw at my place. Sweet and juicy, a perfect healthy material for A-junior's school snack. But I wanted to make something else.

I used:

• Pepper: 7-8 whole
• Tuna : 1 can
• Potato: 1 (boiled)
• Ginger:  2 inch (grated)
• Onion : 1/2 cup (chopped and fried)
• green chili : 2 chopped
• Coriander: 1/2 cup   (chopped)
• Egg:  1
• Cornflour: 1 tsp
• Cumin powder: 1 tbsp
• lemon juice: few drops
• salt

Ready steady cook:

• Clean the peppers and de-seed them from one side.
• Mix and mash the tuna fish, potato, onion fry, chili, ginger and coriander.
• Add the cumin powder, lemon juice and salt to taste.
• Fill in the mix in small portions in the peppers.
• In a separate bowl mix the egg and the cornflour to make a thin batter.
• Dip the peppers in the batter and fry in oil. I shallow fried it in little oil just enough to make sure that the batter seals the opening.

(Making a batter with chickpeas flour and egg would have been better..but I did not have it at home. Deep frying will taste better too.)

• Serve hot.