A Christmas cake..Bake it ot leave it!

I promised to bake a cake for Arnos school Christmas dinner...which is tomorrow..TOMORROW!!!

Since you have been my dear readers for a while and you know me....(Ok if not me, atleast my love for baking ), you have every right to ask,

WHAT ON EARTH were you  thinking when you made this promise?

I have the same question.

I started off by gathering "requirements" from my little customer..
Me:    Arno , what kind of cake do you want me to bake for school?
Arno: What CAN you bake?                    (Careful! Customer is small but highly focused!)
Me:    I can bake a Ricotta cheese cake (I feel proud of myself once again just by saying it)
Arno: nah....(Thinks for a minute).....Can you bake a Chocolate cake? 

This is serious. A whole chocolate cake. On my own.
I discussed this with some friends. One of them, B, kindly promised to send me a recipe. I got a mail within minutes..The subject said "Christmas cake recipe" . I was happy. This friend radiates confidence so I felt confident already...enough not to open the mail but keep it for later.Two days back, I thought its good to buy the ingredients and keep in store so that all I need to do on the day is open the recipe and get going..get baking, I mean.
So I opened the mail. Here is what it said:

Christmas Cake Recipe

You will require:
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
walnuts/almonds
1 bottle whisky

Method
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink immediately.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one spoontea of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still OK. Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner. If the fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who cares?
Check the whisky.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts.
Add one babblespoon of drown sugar or whatever colour you can find. Wix mell. Grease the oven. Turn the cake pan to 350 gredees.
Don't forget to beat the turner.
Thrown the bowl out of the window.
Check the whisky again and go to bed.

$$%#$%%!%%!@$#!!!

B.....B.....B ..where are you? Yeah, yeah he is already on vacation ..........

I have to leave now .....get stuff for my real chocolate cake which I need to bake tonight...the dinner is tomorrow. If it turns out to be a chocolate cake or anything that might pass off with that name then I will come back with my recipe.
(B , you do not get a single slice!)
 

Meanwhile, 

Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New year to all of you.....

Have fun, enjoy and stay safe.

Note: The Husband kindly volunteered to try out this recipe.....