Gyan-paapi and Spanish Paella

Another fresh New Year! - to plan, to live, to be grateful for!

Best wishes for all........

Today's word is -GyanPaapi!  (in Bengali) 

জ্ঞানপাপী (Gyanpaapi) : Willful or deliberate sinner; conscious sinner.

This is what Google threw back as the meaning of the word.

😊

When I was growing up, this word was often used sarcastically for a person who had all the theoretical knowledge and reasoning about doing something, that could be harmful, YET continued doing it. 

So inspite of having the 'Gyan(knowledge)', still did the 'paap (sin)'.

Let me explain...........

Scene1: I caught a cold 

Ma:  How did you catch a cold? (big eyes, stern voice)

Me:  I was playing outside in the cold without wearing my sweater. (See? knew it, yet...)

Ma: Gyanpaapi!

OR,

Scene2: Got poor grades in Maths. (ok, make it very poor grades in Maths)

Baba: So why such poor grades this time? (the tone was not as calm as it feels in writing here)

Me: I did not study enough     (See?  funda clear, yet...)

Baba: Gyanpaapi!

None of the above scenes ended in such a peaceful one-word-only outcome but you get the general drift of the word...right?

😁

I have quite a few Gyanpaapis in my life (including myself)

(most of them 50± years on this planet) 

We know we need to eat healthy. We know we need to put in more exercise. We know we need to go for the yearly check-up. We know physiotherapy really helps the back problem. We know that the daily walk is mandatory. We know smoking is injurious to health. We know hobbies bring positivity to life. We know life is uncertain. etc etc...

We know it all - theoretically!  because we have been here long enough and have seen a lot of life...........

YET............yet yet yet..... we ignore.....and continue 'business as usual'...

We are a bunch of Gyanpaapis!

Dear friends - Take a pledge this year  - quit being a Gyanpaapi! 

(believe me, I just made my physiotherapy appointment 😀)

'Gyan' over - let us switch to food and life.

Chicken Prawn Paella

This skillet was bought by A-senior a few years back. ...and then it was seasoned with full energy and passion!!

The Oil massage, water wash, exact temperature of the preheated oven, oil massage again, wiping with a dry cloth, back in the oven, raising the temperature in steps...the whole shebang!

He never got to use it.

This year, I mustered enough courage and muscle power to bring out the never-used-perfectly-seasoned-superheavy-cast iron skillet to cook a Paella. It turned out to be ok - not the very best (I blamed it on the rice I used) but the skillet was more than perfect!

I may have complained a bit too much about its weight before - but I do promise to use it more to make him proud and happy.

You need [I made for 6 people]

Chicken : 1 kg boneless (small pieces)

Prawns (deveined): 300 gms

Garlic : 6 pods sliced

Onion: 1 medium roughly chopped

Carrot : 3 (cubed)

Frozen peas: 1 cup

Red paprika: 1 diced

Chicken stock cube

Tomato puree : 3-4 spoonfull

Paella Rice : 3 cups   

Olive oil

Salt and black pepper

Fresh coriander (I did not have parsley, hence...)

Ready steady cook:

• Put olive oil into a large paella skillet on a medium heat. Add garlic, onion, carrot, chicken and paprika, and fry for around 5 minutes, stirring regularly.
• Add the tomato purée and crumble in the stock cube, then add the rice and stir for a couple of minutes so it starts to absorb all the flavours.
• Pour in 750ml of boiling water and add a pinch of salt and black pepper. Cover with lid  and bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for 15 minutes, stirring regularly from the outside in and from the inside out, and adding a splash of water if needed.
• Stir in the peas and prawns, replace the lid, and cook for a further 5 minutes
• Season with some more black pepper, then chop the coriander leaves, scatter them over the paella, and serve with lemon wedges on the side for squeezing over.

.....and how can I forget the perfect Sangria that 'S' prepared to go with the Paella?

It is a blessing when there is food on the table and friends around to eat it together.

                                                                     Cheers to 2024!

BOB

I have a BOB now.  My own home-grown BOB. 

Lucky me!!
😀 
BOB = Bewust Onbeschonken Bestuurder

What this means is a designated driver (BOB) who will not drink alcohol and will drive his companions back home safely after a party! 

I love this concept in the Netherlands -  a responsible and safe act for self and for others - demonstrating the maturity of a society.

Bob jij of Bob ik?   Are you the Bob today or me?

In principle, this question is sorted out before you leave for a party.

It was a standard question in our household as we went out for a visit to any friend's place. 

For friends who served good single malts, I was the Bob (I nodded yes even before the question was asked)

For good-red-wine-serving friends, A-senior did not have a choice. Bob, he was.

Back to the present,  A-junior is a certified BOB now!

A few days back A-junior got his driver's license. 

Since then, I have been asking him to go out and drive A-senior's car. 

He was a bit hesitant for multiple reasons.

......yesterday I took him out and we did a couple of rounds to get the feel of the car in a parking lot.

Sorted.

 .....and then yesterday evening the proud mom got to experience something that made her super proud, grateful, and happy.

Let me start from the start.

The process of getting a driver's license in the Netherlands is a very rigorous one- both the written and practical exams are very elaborate and strict. 

So the mom knows that the license he has in his hands is something to trust - no doubt about that.

But being the mother in the passenger seat for the first time while the controls were in his hands were...ummm..... I mean....in the beginning a bit......what can I say...

😀

Haha, don't get me wrong. 

I have full confidence in him - especially the way he has grown up in the last 3 years.  

I think it was more the 'disbelief' as a mom. 

How can this guy who was a tiny thing only a few days (read years) back say, 'Mom, I will be the BOB today, let me drive you back home'.

I still remember him crawling on the ground with one knee bent inward...

I still remember him trying to stand up ...

I still remember his first run...

I still remember his shaky cycling when the supporting wheels were removed ....

...and now offering to be the BOB?

Where did the years fly?

We were visiting a friend yesterday, when this offer came.

...in my mind I said ...."Oooooommmmmmm" a couple of times and went for my first glass.

The wine was super.  

The hosts are my comfort zone. 

It was a chill Saturday evening.

The food was awesome.

My dear host was ready to refill.

I had a new-BOB.

He nodded, with confidence.

Ok, once more I did a more focused "Oooooommmmmm" and went for my second glass.

A-junior confidently drove me back home. My own home-grown BOB 💕

As I sat in the passenger seat and saw the lights on the road whiz by,  I reflected on this journey called Life.

...Happiness comes in so many different packages.

The journey continues....

I am sure A-senior is also smiling and raising a toast.

..To the new BOB...........Cheers!!

Let me touch you with my music....

Haribhau made me with a lot of love and affection. He used to live in Bombay- maybe he still does. He was a man of music, eating breathing sleeping music.

We, his creations, had a joke between us. 

 Haribhau snores in G# 😀

(Everyday after his favourite Thepla lunch, he used to fall asleep on his small 'gadda' chair in the workshop. We could not escape his deep melodious snoring)

Today.. we are scattered in different corners of the world. 

I am one of them. 

I am a Tanpura.

One day, I heard him talk over the phone with someone. It felt like a long-distance call. He put the phone down and walked over to me and touched my strings gently.

I played back beautifully but somehow the tune sounded sad, that of goodbyes. I understood that it was time to go. 

With a few more of my friends, I started my journey to a faraway land - the land of Tulips and Windmills.

Holland.

We landed in Rotterdam. From there we went directly to Samsuddin bhai. As I looked out of my van window, I could see the beautiful country outside. I wondered how the people will be. I told myself that whoever they are and whatever our cultural (musical) differences are, I am going to fill the country with my music. Both the Guitar and the Sitar on the other side of the van also looked a bit sad - maybe the same thoughts rushing through their minds too. 

How will our new life be in these new surroundings?

The next morning, Samsuddin bhai put me up in his musical instrument shop. I stood there shining and straight, eagerly waiting for customers to walk in. 

Within a few minutes, two pretty women walked in. They went to Samsuddin bhai and asked something. The language was totally new, it sounded very complicated and I did not understand a word.  

He pointed towards me.

It was almost love at first sight for me. Her eyes were also glistening with joy and excitement as she approached me.

She touched my string so lightly and with so much love.

I said, 'Sa.......'

She called her partner and gestured for her to try too.

She also touched my strings, all of them together this time.................

I said, 'Sa.......Pa......Sa......'

I knew they were in love too, with me.

Feline and Mira. 

They took me home and I became their family and an integral part of their daily Yoga lessons.  There was love, there was romance, there was fun - each day was magical, and blessed with music. Being loved is such a wonderful feeling. With both of them around, I celebrated my life and purpose every moment - filling up their home with music.

10 yrs flew by.

Today Feline is no more. I played my tribute to her during her last journey.

"Sa.............. Pa........... Sa..............." 

I miss her. 

Mira needs to move to a smaller apartment and it is not possible to take all the things. Her arthritic wrist also does not allow her to play me anymore. I heard her call a friend and say, "I don't want to sell our Tanpura but want to give it to someone who will use it to create beautiful music, do you have someone in mind?"

Two days later, her friend 'H' was at her door - apparently, he found someone.

I left for my new home. Sad and uncertain. 

I sat in H's car and looked outside the window again- life felt so unfair.

"D"

I liked her immediately as soon as I saw her at the door. Flushed with excitement and overwhelmed with gratitude, she welcomed me with a big smile. 

So much love and happiness on her face - contagious !! I smiled back!!

She touched my strings with a feeling of awe and almost disbelief.

I said , ' Sa.............. Pa........... Sa...............'

She hugged me tight just like a long-lost friend.  

Once again, nervously she touched my strings. 

I replied from my heart and I meant every note,  ' Sa.............. Pa........... Sa...............'

From her hesitation, I could sense she was touching a Tanpura after a long time. 

I guess this is what they call 'destiny'. 

How else can Haribhau, Samsuddinbhai, Feline, Mira, D, H, and myself be connected? This was meant to be.

Now, every morning, the first thing that D does after waking up is to give me a nudge ( I go Sa...Pa....Sa...) and then she switches on the kettle to make her first cup of Oolong tea. After that, even though she gets busy with work, I feel her love every moment.  

A loving glance, a light touch, some quick strumming, some sudden unplanned dusting ..... 

We are 'in touch' all the time, our lives gradually entering the world of Yaman, Bhupali. Khamaaj, Kaafi and more........I feel very happy here and I am in love with D.

....I have to tell you what happened next. Just like a dream!!

Suddenly there was this discussion, about Kaushiki Chakraborty coming to perform in the Netherlands in a fundraiser for Cheerful Child Foundation! 

I heard bits and pieces of the conversation- logistics, food, ticket sales, posters, sponsors ---- so many things to arrange and talk about. 

I could not believe my ears!  Really? How on earth can this be done? This is huge.

D cannot be THIS crazy!!

..and then one day I heard her talk to Kaushiki herself on the phone.....

'yes, I have a Tanpura, but it is tuned in G#, will that work for you?'

O My God.... that's when I started to dream as well!

If you want something with passion, the whole universe conspires to make it happen. And it did happen....

30th June, my dream came true. 

She came for the concert. She tuned me with her own hands. She played me on stage as well.....

Someone, please pinch me, did this really happen?

😍

Look at me. Second from left in the photo.😊

 I don't know where life will take me next.

But I would want to stay in tune and stay with D forever...

"Let me touch you with my music,

Even if I cannot see you with my eyes,  let me feel you through my songs..."

🙏

ps: Mostly true, partly imagination

A solo trip, A book and A couple of wines.......

This journey called Life is the most uncertain, unpredictable, and unexplainable thing that I have come across in the last so many years....yet it is also the most beautiful! 

It is a gift, wrapped beautifully and with a card that says 'Best wishes Always, Love'.

So let me begin by saying 'Cheers - to Life'.

Florence was always on the bucket list. 
However, by the time the proper planning started, Covid19 was there. That and more, changed my life so much that the whole bucket vanished for a few years. Told you, how unpredictable it is !!

This year, thankfully the bucket resurfaced and with it the list. 

But there was a twist in the story - my heart wanted to go solo, my mind did not have the faith, and my entire being conspired with different excuses (mostly fair ones) to listen to my mind. 

The vulnerability meter was tipping on the higher side, the fear factor was dominating and the mind was therefore, winning....

I have done many solo trips in the past - but this time, it was different.

 A solo trip is what I need - A solo trip is what I need ..

I kept on saying this to myself and to my close ones, for weeks, and months. But the mind was always ready with an excuse for not doing it.

A- junior came to my rescue. 

"Mom, the last time I checked, in order to make a trip, you need to buy a ticket and book a hotel" 

[I know where he got that from, A-senior must be smiling proudly]

The next moment I was typing 'www.booking.com' - the rest is history of last weekend.

😀

The other thing that really influenced me a lot recently is the speech delivered by Theodore Roosevelt. It became popular as the "Man in the Arena".

A friend motivated me with this speech, a couple of months ago - the more I read it, the better it gets, the more thankful I feel.

The phrase "Daring greatly" resonates every time.

 

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither knows victory nor defeat.”

I dared greatly.

Not easy. I stumbled.... but,  I enjoyed it...and here I am writing the story of my Florence trip while ticking it off proudly on my bucket list.

😊

My love for reading had totally died in the last 3 years- could not focus on more than a page at a time. Quite frustrating but that's how it was.

However, just before leaving the house, I picked up a book for my trip. I knew I would not be able to proceed further than page 8, maybe 9......but still.......

This was a gift from a friend earlier this year. 

As I opened the book at the airport - there it was again. 

"The Man in the Arena" (read 'The (wo)Man at the Airport😊)...I finished 80 pages at the airport itself and the rest in Florence - a sense of achievement! 

Read the book if you can...

Vulnerability is not a weakness. Feel the emotions and do not be afraid to connect when you are vulnerable. This is when you are the most authentic.

😍

......okok, I know.....all this is good, but the title of the post also has 'a couple of wines' in it....

Patience my dear friends! here they come.....

This is Tuscany - home of good wine. A short trip from Florence took me to the Chianti wine region- where the landscape, the Sangiovese grapes, the happy farmers, and their beautiful language served some wines which were totally Mamma Mia - out of the world!!

I definitely 'dared greatly' once again 😀

Life is the most beautiful gift we have - and a couple of good Chianti wines just make it worth living.

The trip came to an end. I was ready to come back home. 

 

Reflections, reflections, and more reflections - not always easy (even with the Chianti wines).

But the bottom line is ...

Dare greatly - Live, Love, and Lead .....if you don't, you will never know!

I am also ready to plan my next solo trip.

ps: I totally forgot to mention that David is really handsome - absolutely stunning!

😊

Regel je Shit

Regel je Shit!! The literal translation is " Manage your Shit"

This is not the ideal way to begin a blog post, I know.

But I think you will love it at the end. 

I mean, the title.

😀

A few days back, there were two identical letters from the local municipality in our letterbox. One was addressed to me, the other to A-junior.

My letter said something like this, 'Dear mother of A-junior, your son is going to become 18 soon so he needs to take care of some things himself from now on"

A-juniors letter said, ' Dear A-junior, you are going to become 18 soon, you need to take care of some things yourself from now on..."

...and with the letter, there was this leaflet (picture below) which said,

Regel je Shit!! [Translated: Manage your Shit!!]

Inside the leaflet, there was a list of things for his information, now that he will become 18 soon. Things like income tax, study loans, housing, health insurance,......he is  literally being asked to be aware of these things from now on because these are HIS shit!.. 

Regel je Shit!!

I was impressed. 

....this is how you are expected and made to "grow up" in this part of the world.

I was also smiling when I read the letter...only the Dutch can be so blunt and direct in saying this...in this way.  Hats off!

Such an important message of life at the threshold of adulthood. Responsibility needs to be weaved into life from early days!! - a very important step in the development of a person's character.

You are almost an adult now, so regel je shit!

Haha, Loved it!!

 I have not grown up in this way. Situation, times, culture etc was different. But I have started appreciating this so much as my son grows up. 

Make your kids work for money as they grow up......let them know what 'earning' means.

Here, kids start doing part-time jobs from the age of 14-15. A-junior started with magazine-newspaper delivery when he was 14, moved on to Pizza delivery at 16, currently working in a supermarket chain loading and arranging shelves.

This gives them their pocket money but more importantly, builds up their personality in so many different ways.

I can proudly say his atitude towards money and few other things changed totally.

There is pride (it is HIS money). 

There is responsibility (he CHOOSES how to spend it or not to).

There is planning (he PRIORITIZES his 'needs').

There is empathy (he SUPPORTS 'Cheerful child foundation' with HIS money. Of course I suggested him to do so, but still.....).

There is the intention of changing jobs (continuously looking for BETTER opportunities)

....and and and of course there is grumbling and moaning about the boss as well, before he leaves for his job. (haha, welcome to the club😀😀)

- a fantastic overall development package. 

I wish I had started working at 15.😀

Speaking of parenting, growing up, memories, etc.....Today I feel like sharing "Neem-Begun".  Dont worry, I will not share the "recipe".

😋

It was never my favourite when I was young. I ate it only because of "the eyes". 

One look and everything on the plate used to vanish down my oesophagus, ignoring the tortured screams of the taste buds.

Now I love it!! (you can call it age, wisdom, ...whatever....)

This plant was a gift from AS during the early days of Covid. 

A-senior smiled and asked, "Holland a Neem gach?" [a Neem plant in Holland?].

The plant grew at its own pace, one tiny leaf unfurling at a time, under constant critical monitoring by A- senior. His work-from-home-chair was nearest to the plant, so he was able to notice every micron of the plant's growth. 

Inspite of its visible increase in size, everytime AS visited us, his question would be...."ki gach dili, ektuo barche na!" (what a plant, it is not growing at all)😝

Few days ago, we took out some of the leaves, fried them with eggplant and ate a plateful of rice.

Brought back zillions of memories.......childhood, 'the eyes', A-senior,........

Part of life as I take one step forward every day.😍

 Universal applicability of the words "Regel je shit", but still A Gift of Life.

Angels 😍

We have angels around us. 

There are so many of them ......

Be thankful.

Feel blessed.💖

The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse-Charlie Mackesy

Life has not stopped (thankfully). 

Every day is a journey anyway. ....on the road...for all of us.

....Can be a German highway (wide and smooth with no speed limits),  or a Swiss mountain road (sharp corners and steep slopes), or the  Dutch road by the canal (simple, green and beautiful) or the daily road to the supermarket  (uneventful with 3 traffic lights) .........

...can be anything.

😊

Today's post is not about the road itself but more about the people on the road. 

Our co-travellers.

...the Angels around us. There are so many.

I cannot list them all. You know who you are.

You all have helped me to stand up again and face life with a smile.😀

I have always liked the festive winter season in The Netherlands. 

I loved the decorated shops, my jackets, the shawls, the boots, the lights, the smell of cinnamon, the warm coffee,  the leave application, the planning for the vacation, the artificial Christmas tree, the gifts.....the occasional snow....everything.

Everything about this season is about happiness...the gift of Life.

This year is different for me and it is extremely difficult to be in a happy mood, like usual.

So I did not have any interest to put up the Christmas tree (which was A-senior's job anyway).

Yesterday I went for my usual walk in the evening. When I returned, the house was dark.

I knew A-junior was at home, upstairs, gaming. 

I entered the house and while opening my jacket shouted (almost),"A, why is the house dark? you know I don't like it like this! Why didn't you switch on the lights?"

No answer. 

With a grumpy face, I opened the door to my living room.

Surprise!

The Christmas tree dazzled at the corner ..... the tree lights were bright.....the room full of some kind of warm energy....a presence I cannot define.

Footsteps on the stairs. 

A-junior came down and hugged me with a smile on his face .

" Tomake surprise dilam Ma" [I wanted to surprise you, Mom].

Tears of happiness. 

Reassurance of love. 

Moments to treasure.

Angels.😍

.....and then the doorbell rang. 

My friend was standing there with lights in her hands.

She said, "We thought we would sneak into your garden and light up the tree!!".

I stood there speechless. 

Overwhelmed with gratitude.

With that, the tree got a light, I got a blessing.

Hugs from the depth of my heart!

Angels 😍

I strongly believe I have angels around me. 

Each one of you.😍

You all have stood beside us in different ways at different times of this very difficult year with love, care, strength, faith, and hope.

A book 

A bowl of comfort food

A massage to ease my neck

A Lasagna dinner before A-junior's exams to make him smile.

A long phone call to just let me pour it out.

A walk with me 

A glass of wine

A surprise drive to see the cherry blossoms and tulips

A symbol of strength from your culture

A Zoom call.

A Whatsapp ping

A yoga lesson

A supporting hand at work

A cake

A drop of tear

A smile

A hug

A story to share 

A ......

A .....

A....

Angels 😍

We have angels around us. 

Blessed with wishes from all of you...for us to be strong, for us to live life, for us to go ahead....

Angels 😍- I am blessed to have you in my life.

The Gift of Life

Life is uncertain, strange, painful.....but still a gift.💕
I do not have enough words to express by feelings as I write this blog today.

....dedicate this to A-senior whilst feeling extremely proud of our A-Junior.

January 2021 changed our lives forever. 

But this is not a post about the grief and pain that came with the change. 

This post is about the joy and pride that I feel (and am sure A-Senior feels wherever he is) when our A-junior crossed a milestone in his life as he graduated from school.

This post is about celebrating everyday, one step at a time even though life seemed to have stopped a few months back....

This post is about our in-built resilience which takes us through the difficult moments....

This post is about those friends and family (read angels) around us who gave us the strength to stand up again....

This post is about the many joyful moments we spent together, cherishing those memories and promising to keep on creating more memories in future......

This post is about love, hope, celebrations .... and still being able to believe in ...

"The Gift of Life"

A-junior finished school .

What a relief !! what a celebration!! what a proud moment for parents, family and friends!!

As usual there were the difficult moments.😀

The mother just refused to understand how someone can learn Maths from Youtube.

A-junior failed to convince the mother why he can still continue to game online a month before exams.

The mother panicked when she saw the bulk of the Physics syllabus that he needs to study.

A-junior woke up at 11:30 am during his preparation month!

The mother freaked out looking at the clock.

A-junior ....

The mother .....

....the list is a long one. 

Fast forward. Results day.

[Here, students are informed personally over phone about their boards results...around 3:00 PM.]

The clock seemed to have stopped at 2:45.

The mother looked at the clock a million times in between her meetings.  A-junior woke up late, made a nice sandwich, ate it and moved around in the room looking totally cool.....this freaked out the mother even more.

"Phone kothay?"  [where is your phone?]

"Phone e charge ache to?" [is your phone charged?]

"ora ki alphabetically call korbe? [will the school call in alphabetic order?]

The phone rang at 3:05

A-junior picked up the phone, listened and said "thank you". The mother heaved a sigh of relief.

The mentor told the mother, "Gefeliciteerd!! Congratulations! he deserves to pass because he had worked so hard amidst such difficult circumstances"

I hugged A-junior with tears in my eyes. 

Tears of pride and happiness...................................A-senior smiled and hugged us too.

I missed him the most at that moment.

Ok, now some action!!!!

This is one custom which I absolutely love in the Netherlands. I have been wanting to do this for a long time but one needed to pass school to do this.

Yes!!!! My wait was finally over. 

Usually a flagpole is used for this purpose. 

Our house does not have one so I went into the garden to look for a strong sturdy stick.  [Ma, please not with a stick]

Then some cellotape.  [Really Ma, you are going to use cellotape?]

Then the school bag.  [that will be too heavy, it cannot hang that way]

Royally ignoring all the italics, I did it! A-junior joined me sheepishly and even helped me out with the cellotape  :-)

Children hang their school bags along with the flag outside their house to announce to the world that they have passed their board exams......done with the old school bag!!!

A perfect custom to respect the hard work of the children and to look forward to the next phase of life.

As the blue "geslaagd" [Passed] flag flutter outside our bedroom window, I derive strength and inspiration from it.

I feel proud of his resilience and hope to see him develop into a fantastic loving human being.

I remember and cherish the bond that he shares with A-Senior.

I feel thankful that I have these two fantastic gentlemen in my life.....forever.💗