'Time'ly Tomato Temptation

Photo credits: 123rf.com

Only busy people have time.

A few years back I would have laughed at this. 
Today, I strongly believe in it.

This post about "time" was actually triggered by the information evening for parents at the school of A-junior.

Yes, he has moved on to high school and I have stopped writing about him on my blog (ya ya, privacy, teenager, moustache etc etc ). So this post is not about him.

;-)

The information evening set up by the school started at 8:30 PM. We, parents, (still a bit flustered at the idea of our children moving on to high school) sat there with flushed faces and nervous nods trying to figure out our role in the meeting. We missed the familiar faces that we were used to for the last eight years of elementary school. Here, in Holland, a massive segregation happens when the child finishes elementary school. Each child, based on his/her scores, is assigned to different levels of education and hence different high schools. Everything was so new, it was like starting all over again....

After the generic welcome speeches, we were led to the individual classes for more 'in-depth' information.

Believe me....LOTS of information.

Out of the whole lot, the thing that really caught my attention was the emphasis put on the use of an "agenda".

Even though the school has all sorts of apps to capture homework, routine, holidays etc online, a lot of importance was put on how the child should start learning the use of an agenda. It is absolutely mandatory for the students to have a hard bound agenda in their school bag. 
There is nothing new in the concept because I also grew up with a 'school diary' where we were supposed to note down our homework and our class routine.
However, the emphasis put on its use was absolutely new (compared to my times).
In between almost every sentence, the mentor mentioned the agenda and how important it is for the child to use it ..all the time!
"This is their first step towards learning the real meaning of 'responsibility' - how to 'plan' their own life". 
I realized, even though I had looked at my agenda for daily class routine and homework, I was never taught to 'plan' my school life. My diary (or agenda) did not teach me the 'value' of time. My agenda did not make ME responsible for planning, it just carried the information from others which I needed to follow.

This innocent agenda in my son's school bag made me think a lot. 

Respecting time is a concept, a mindset , a way of life. I learnt it much later in life. 

Here children learn it much earlier. The agenda is much more than the few pages of scribbles it appears to be. The high importance given to an agenda teaches a kid from a very early age;

• The importance of planning
• The importance of "me" time
• The importance of other's time and respecting it

During my initial days in Japan, I had even joked about the "agenda-culture". I found it quite funny when every small appointment found a place in the agenda, whether it was a coffee or a visit to the museum. I almost boasted of my 'Indian spontaneity" where we go with the flow and are not controlled by a mere agenda.  Within a few days, I quickly learned that an individual (and the society) can develop only when it starts to respect time.

I immediately bought a beautiful leather-bound agenda! -- never missed a single appointment after that ..and all ON TIME. (Let me tell you ON TIME in Japan meant something at a different level, which, for this poor Indian, was a culture shock!)

I also learned that having an agenda does not necessarily mean losing the 'spontaneity' I am so proud of.
"Being on time" really means that you know the importance of planning, the importance of your own 'me' time and the importance of respecting other's time.

When a child of eleven puts down "15:30 - 16:00 practice guitar, 16:30 -17:30: Screen time 19:00-20:00 doing homework" in his agenda , he is actually forced to think about time. He is 'taught' to pay attention to his me-time (in this case the screen) as well as plan his homework time. I agree, some parts of the agenda can be 'forced' by the mother, but that is another topic altogether (which we will not elaborate here ;-)). 
The mother also 'allows' the child to shuffle the sequence of activities if required, and adds a dialogue like "now that you are grown up, you are responsible enough to know which to do when, I completely leave that part to YOU". This pleases the (growing) child with a feeling of "I can make my own decisions" but also puts him in a' responsible planning' mode.
...may sound preplanned and manipulative ...
[note: I have no problem with being a manipulative mother!]
;-)

O my God! look at the time! I need to cook now. 
De-stress from all the time related learnings......
Breathe in, breathe out and cook!
Need to "be on time".

Tomato temptation

This recipe is too simple yet too beautiful...and healthy on top of that!!

Ingredients:

1. Tomatoes (not too ripe) : 6 
2. Eggs
3. Onions chopped
4. Garlic chopped
5. Coriander (chopped)
6. Green chillis (chopped)
7. Parmesan cheese

Ready steady cook:

• Cut the tomatoes in half and place them in a greased oven plate (Tip: Cut a small piece out of the tomato in such a way that it gets a flat bottom to stand firmly on the plate)
• Saute the garlic, onion and chillis. Add salt and black pepper. Also mix the fresh coriander. Put a spoonfull of this mixture in each tomato [Optional: I also used some orange paprika in the mix]
• Pour an egg into each tomato. (Tip: if it is too much, put the egg yolk and a bit of the egg white)
• Sprinkle some parmesan cheese and some black pepper on top
• Bake in a preheated oven for 20 mins ( 180 degC)
• Serve as a side dish (we served it with Shepherd's pie)

The moustache is here......

The latest addition to our family is a moustache.
...however faint it may be, only visible when the chin is held high against natural light, yet it  announces that someone has  "grown up". The super-faint-light-bluish moustache is even being flaunted infront of the existing grown ups in the house to establish the growing up. 
I smile as I write this post.
I am sure all mothers go through a "strange" feeling when the moustache appears.... happiness mingled with some oh-how-time-flies!!

Two other things happened last week which made the arrival of the moustache even more prominent. 

The class performed the end-of-elementary-school musical: 
Lot of rehearsals went into the success of the magical drama that A-junior's class performed.  Such a nice musical to mark the end of their elementary school! As the kids sang, danced and performed and the parents proudly tried to capture everything with their cameras....the school year came to an end. 8 years of elementary school starting from the day when I walked into the school with a toddler holding my hand to the 11 yr old who was dressed up in space suit on the stage trying to show his acting skills to impress the audience. ..and I am sure holding hands is nowhere on the radar anymore! Quite a journey, no doubt.
As a bonus, we had A-junior's grandparents in the audience this time, their first time at his school.
The drama was enacted in Dutch and I was initially a bit apprehensive about how they would feel like sitting in the audience without understanding a word of it. 
My mistake! 
Grandparents do not require "any" language when their grandchildren perform on stage. They watched with complete admiration,almost in a trance mode. Their eyes gleamed with pride as they said "what a performance by A-junior" at the end of the play.
Really , the whole play was in Dutch!
;-)
The kids cried at the end of the drama...uninhibited tears of grief rolled down their cheeks at the thought of separation. The girls hugged each other while the boys tried to put up a brave face.
I went back to my school days. The last day of school was very painful.  Since it was a girl's school, we all howled and cried at the thought of separation. We wrote farewell messages on our white school uniforms as tears rolled down our cheeks. We murmured promises of keeping in touch ..life long. Green cross, cross my heart....so many different ways of girly promises of not forgetting each other.
Nothing changed. History repeats itself, no matter which part of the world we are in.
Elementary school came to an end.

The school arranged a 'disco' for the outgoing class. 
It even had a theme. "Shining white". The boy-with-the-faint-moustache, dressed in a casual white shirt was dropped off at the disco at 7:00PM by the father.
The boy returned at 12:00. Yes, you heard it correct...12:00 o'clock!!
(he was dropped home by his friend's father)
The mother could not take her eyes off the clock from 10:00 PM onwards. She also checked her whatsapp couple of times. At 10:30, she received a picture of a bunch of 12 yr olds dancing. At 10:30, there was a selfie with few kids making weird faces. At 11:00, the photo was a bit blurred. The mom realised that it was her third glass of red wine.
The father pretended to be super cool all the time but you should have seen the smile on his face when the junior came back home.
The faint moustache is not something that one can ignore anymore.

We are in India. Foodwise, I am being pampered royally. So no recipes today.
I will be sharing some super tasty recipes soon. 
Let me  focus on the eating first.

Food in India is... so....so...so.......so vibrant, so colourful, so active! 
The vegetables are so fresh, they almost talk to me "Pick me, pick me!"
The vegetable vendor stared at us with surprised eyes as A-junior asked him if taking a photo of his stall is allowed.

Simple wisdom, simple food :Panta Bhat

I am not a coach. I am not a philosopher either.

But being Indian, of a reasonably 'mature' age and the mother of a eleven-yr old, somehow coaching and philosophizing (if there is such a word) just comes naturally these days. 
May be it is in the blood.

If I add to that a dash of nodding head, I (and the person infront of me) almost feel that I really know what I am talking about.
;-)

This post is not about coaching or philosophy. This is about life's lessons, which in turn does have an element of coaching and philosophy embedded in it. 
But these are not mine.

This post is dedicated to a man I admire and respect.

Over the years, priorities change dramatically. Energy levels fall, the hair loses its natural colour, the eyelids are quite a rough journey for the eyeliner brush, the back experiences frequent aches, the patience fails more often and birthdays are not interesting anymore.

Facing all of the above gracefully while still managing to keep the mind young and fresh is something a few people can do.

He is one of them. 
Last week I attended his farewell at work.

A Russian by birth, an American by passport, an European by residence permit, and a global person by his travel record and information database, he is undoubtedly a very interesting person. He is also one of the most intelligent and witty human beings I have come across in my professional life. He is a senior scientist in the field of materials. He inspired me, encouraged me, loved me, respected me and taught me many things not only professionally but also about life in general.

He is not a person who can boast of his diplomacy. He says what he wants to say and usually gets away with it by pretending that his English is bad (very conveniently using his Russian card). He is known for his blunt comments which made working with him very difficult at times.
....Till he starts to respect you for whatever reason.

;-)

Extremely active and passionate about many things in life including work, he sometimes made the younger folk in the team tired with his enthusiasm and energy. Retirement is difficult for such a man. He looked sad. After all the farewell speeches from the team members were done, it was his turn to speak. I already knew he will speak only little but those few words will have a lot to say.

His farewell speech began with,

"We are all born from one ugly smelly sticky thing and end in another ugly grey useless thing...both equally bad.

Therefore what we do in between these two ugly things is very important ...that defines us as a human being."

People applauded. I am sure we all understood the truth behind the words.

He continued,

" I do not have a long speech but I have three tips to share with you.

1. Love what you do or at least fool yourself to make believe that you love what you do...Otherwise it is a disaster.

2. Keep changing. Change job, change lifestyle, change  drink, change dress, change hairstyle, change wife .....(audience clapped ;-)

3. Live for today and at the most for tomorrow but definitely not for day after tomorrow."

Some words can linger for a very long time after being spoken....these did.
Thank you Mark for everything.

Now, let's eat something. Because life's lessons do not have much of a meaning on a hungry stomach.
In lieu of the simplistic lessons we just learnt, we will eat something simple today. So simple that we do not have to cook what we eat today because it has already been cooked. (!!)

Panta Bhat ( Fermented rice: Poor Google struggled to translate)

I will not go into the history of this rice dish. The way I remember it is in summer, when we had leftover rice from the night before, Ma used to put water and keep it overnight.

Next morning, she fried onions and thinly sliced potatoes and green chillis, mixed it with the rice and served. The rice, a bit fermented due to heat had a faint sour taste. It was supposed to keep one's body cool and protect from the heat waves. Although my mom did not make this frequently, for me it was love at first bite. It is actually the combination of the fried things that made the rice taste super delicious. This fermented rice is called "Panta bhat".

After a long break from it (hostel, japan etc), I got to enjoy the taste of panta bhat again after my marriage when my mother inlaw mixed all the fried ingredients and even added some mustard oil to the mixture....sheer bliss...heaven on a plate.

After that we moved to the Netherlands. Panta bhat was nowhere on our radar till I met this foodie friend (yet-another-A) who claimed to have mastered the art of making panta bhat even in the cold climate of Holland.
When he described the process of how he keeps the rice in a warm pre-heated oven before going to sleep and even wakes up in the middle of the night to switch off the oven so as to achieve the exact fermentation....I was amazed!!
Bengalis are known for their food passion.....hats off to such a bengali person who "creates" panta bhat even in Holland! I know he is smiling while reading the post!
I have to admit I tried it too......
Delicious!

1. Soak the cooked rice in water overnight 
2. Fry some thinly sliced onions, potatoes and chillis, preferably in mustard oil.
3. Mix nicely. The texture should be a bit watery. Garnish with chopped raw onions.

On the bowl, replace the "S" in Pasta with a "N".  Panta is ready to be served!!!!

Camp and Calories with Rabri

The son is going for a camp from school.

11 yr old going away for 4 days.

Without parents.

First time.

Lot of excitement at home.  

The Bengali mother, although extremely tired from the weekend's Bengali New Years program, decided to make "luchi" for the camp going son.

'Aha...Bhogoban jane camp e ki khabe na khabe' (poor boy, God knows what food he will get at the camp).

Haha!

No, these were NOT the thoughts that raced through her mind.

While rolling out each luchi, trying to make them as circular as possible, she realized that she HERSELF was actually craving for luchi for sometime. The camp-going son was an excuse.

The son, who is born and brought up  in Holland loves luchi with "alu-r torkari". He was therefore overjoyed with the "luchi" news.

A-senior, smiled (a broad one) when he heard the "luchi" plan.

A foodie family...no doubt about that.

After a happy luchi meal, mother and son focused on packing. A-senior parked himself on the sofa and appointed himself as the supervisor. The camping list which has been hanging on the refrigerator door for the last four weeks was spread on the table, carefully looked at, each item ticked off the list as it went into the camping bag. 

The sleeping bag, the raincoat, the walking shoes, the pillow, .....and THE TORCH!

The torch somehow got the maximum attention.

The mom tried to convince the boy to take the torch that was already there at home. It was quite a slick-looking small modern torch.

The offer got rejected....Apparently it did not look like a CAMPING torch!!

Learning 1: The torch is the most important thing for a first-time-camp-going 11-yr old.

Packing was almost done.

The last item was a pillow. The parents had really taken the pillow more seriously than the torch. So a "camping" pillow was bought. A very nice one which you can blow up into quite a reasonable size and softness without bursting your lungs. Amazingly handy. So small. So convenient. So exciting.

I remembered the one from my childhood.  Dark brown Duckback. One had to almost empty his lungs to get some decent air into the pillows. We always carried it on our overnight train journeys.

A-senior blew into it and showed off the soft pillow with utter pride. He did it twice to demonstrate what a good choice the parents had made. The mom narrated her childhood air pillow story and mentioned how much better and more camp-friendly this pillow was.

But the teacher had instructed them to take normal small pillows and nothing in the world (no matter what the camp-excited-parents said) could change that!!

Finally the "normal" pillow won.
Learning 2: Never try to impose your own camping wishes on your child.

The Mom asked while packing "Do you want to eat something special when you are back from camp?"
A-junior replied, "Sheddho bhat!! [Boiled rice with eggs and potatoes]"

Learning 3:  Bangaliyana is in the blood. 

The bus came. The boys lined up with excited faces. The parents lined up with excitement-mixed-with-concern faces. The fathers checked the luggage, the mothers huddled around their kids giving last minute instructions "Sleep well (as if camp is about sleeping), Enjoy well (as if they wouldn't if not told to),  listen to your teachers (of course!)"

The bus left. All the parents kept waving. 
The mom could not see the son through the dark window glasses......but kept waving too...sure that an excited boy in the bus was waving back.
Learning 4: When your boy goes camping for 4 days, he surely has grown up. Accept it.

Rabri  

If you are one of those people who count their calories everyday, then this is the right moment to leave the blog and go for a run. This recipe is laden with calories, thousands of them. It is also laden with taste (specially if you love sweets). 
I am not a sweet lover but realized that I wanted to make Rabdi because I love Malpoa. The two of them go together.....
The cooking part is pretty simple, but the main ingredient is patience!!
No, a diet-rabri does not exist, do not search the net!!!

Ingredients:

• 2 liters Full milk
• 3 spoon sugar
• 1/2 tsp cardamom powder
• Finely sliced almonds
• Few strands of saffron

Ready steady cook:

• Boil the milk at high heat in a heavy bottom pan.
• Wait till a layer of cream appears. Move the cream layer to the side of the pan with a spatula.
• Let the milk boil again and a fresh layer of cream appear.
• Move the cream layer to the sides again.
• Repeat this step till the milk is reduced to 1/3 the initial volume. [warned you about patience!!!]
• Add the sugar, the cardamom powder and the almonds.
• Now scrape the cream from the sides into the milk, mix well, cook for 2-3 minutes and then switch off the heat.
• Add a few strands of saffron.
• Let it cool down and then chill in the refrigerator.

I served it with warm Malpoa. HEAVEN!!

A dilemma and a Meat Loaf

As usual, many things happened over the last few days.

Easter came with a short break, good food and great company.

The T20 cricket world cup came with happiness, followed by sadness and a determined decision to officially join the fan club of Virat Kohli.

The Brussels and Lahore incident triggered helplessness and left us not knowing what to feel anymore for these incidents.

The collapsed bridge in Kolkata triggered anger no doubt, but got replaced by frustration very soon after that.

.... and many more things happened.

Amidst all this, life went on.....at its own pace.

..and THAT my friend is the only good news.

Life has been designed in such a way that it never stops for anybody or anything. This actually gives us the strength to face it. We all know in our hearts that there will be a TOMORROW, no matter what!...and that keeps us going.

Monday mornings tend to make me a bit philosophical. On some days I blame it on the weather, on some it is purely the alarm's fault, but on most days it is the emotional stress of knowing that the Sunday is gone. A large cup of Darjeeling tea at home, a bit of complaining to friends on Whatsapp and a cup of the machine coffee at work usually brings me back to normal, ready to face the week. I am able to appreciate life again and smile at the various 'small' things that happen everyday.

The Gift of Life.

A-junior's best friend was spending the weekend with us.

Since he is yet another A, we shall call him AA-junior. 

On the Sunday, A-junior wanted AA-junior to accompany him to the cricket field (ongoing tournament which he could not miss). But maybe AA-junior wanted to sleep in or play at home. Although he looked quite decided on this but every time his best friend asked him to come along there were flickers of dilemma. It was a difficult decision, no doubt.

I really wanted to help the boys to decide. 

Me: Look, if you keep on thinking both scenarios, you will never be able to decide. Why not put both options on  the table together and take a firm decision?

Boys: Sounds good.

Me: Let me make the two options clear. What do you want? Do you want to go along for cricket and spend the day with your friend but stay on the sidelines? Or do you want to stay at home with me and maybe play a bit on the i-pad and help me with household things?

Both boys were silent for a while carefully weighing what the options were and what they were signing up for.

After a few microseconds,

AA-junior said, "Your question does not help at all. Both options are equally good and bad. It is like asking, do you want to be rich and miserable or poor and happy?"

Pin drop silence at my end.

It is easier to face a Monday with a philosophical mood rather than face the young these days!

These newer models are logical, to-the-point and crystal clear!!

Finally he stayed home with me.

;-)

Meat loaf

I have always wanted to make this meat-loaf. Somehow it did not happen. It sounded and felt and looked too difficult. However, on that specific day, I simply had a lot of energy and a lot of chicken keema at home. I geared up my courage and began the journey of making the loaf.

It came out beautiful and tasty.

A-senior gave me a wordless, big smile on seeing it on his plate. 

Ingredients:

• Chicken keema: 350 gms
• Fresh spinach: 1 large bunch (only chopped leaves )
• 1 cup carrots (very small cubes)
• 1/2 cup roasted red paprica(capsicum): optional
• 1 cup fresh coriander (chopped)
• 1 cup whole-wheat bread crumbs
• 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
• 1 large egg white
• 2 boiled eggs
• 1 onion, chopped
• 5-6 cloves garlic (chopped)
• 2 tsp tomato ketchup
• 2 tsp olive oil
• 1/4 cup cream
• Salt and black pepper

Ready steady cook:

• Heat one spoon of olive oil in a pan.
• Add the chopped garlic and onion and saute.
• Add the spinach. Mix salt and pepper and saute for a while.
• In a separate bowl mix all the other ingredients (except the two boiled eggs). Add the sauteed spinach to it.
• Mix very well.
• Preheat the oven to 250 deg C.
• Pack the mix in a oiled loaf can. 
• Half fill it and add the two boiled eggs in between. Pack the rest of the mix on the top.
• Bake for 45-50 mins.
• Slice and serve. (both warm and cold taste good)
• I served it with steamed brocolli and mashed potatoes.

The value (price) of pain with Soba-chicken-noodle-soup

A-junior has bad luck with his teeth. For whatever reasons, his milk teeth refuse to fall out on their own. They want to stay with him forever.

This decision of theirs is totally unknown to the permanent teeth who are lined up already to come out and face the world. Most of them start their journey and find their path being blocked by very stubborn milk teeth who refuse to budge and give way.

This brings the dentist into our life in a permanent sort of way. 

Each and every milk teeth needs to be pulled out.

Painful. No doubt about that.

But what can we do?

After every such event, the dentist usually offers a little something like a small toothpaste or a magnet to pacify him. The parents also promise something, the thought of which helps him to face the pain in a better way and the recovery process goes faster. That "something" started off a bit big during the first such session (mom was in total panic mode when the howling 7-yr old looked accusingly at her as if to say "why are YOU doing this to me?"). So a toy was bought to make the child happy. However, later on as the story of the stubborn milk teeth gradually unfurled, the Mom realized that this is going to be more 'routine'. At some point of time it became so 'routine' that the budget for the "something" got substantially reduced. (I agree, how mean of a mother!!)

Time flew.....

After eight such stubborn milk teeth came a super stubborn one.

Meanwhile the mouth has been through some changes as well. It is now the proud owner of braces with hopes and promises of perfectly aligned white teeth in future which will win as many hearts as he can handle, I hope.

Due to this super stubborn milk tooth, a new character call the "gum surgeon" got introduced into the saga of the 'Stubborn Milk Teeth'. His title sounded so scary that I cannot blame the little boy when his face lost all colour on hearing this new development. The event, because of the complexity, had to be planned not at the dentist's, but at the hospital.

The day came, the event happened, the boy cried, the mom panicked, the dad pretended to be cool.

All ended well.

.....and then it was time for the pain compensation 'something'.

We came back home and opened an online toy store and he started looking for the toy he wanted. I, generously gave him a budget of 20 euros. After all, this time it was complicated!! A-junior, after considerable surfing could only find something of his liking of 32.99 euro.

Nothing else appealed to him. 
This "Transformer" character has been his dream character for a while, etc etc.

Mom reminded him of his budget constraint.

No, but this character can actually shoot small transformer weapons even!!!

Mom reminded the 20 euros again.

Mom:  But I really feel that the whole gum surgeon event was not THAT big. I think the pain was worth about 20 euros.

A-junior (tears filled up his eyes, tears of sadness mixed with tears of anger): But Mom, how do YOU know the pain I went through? I am 100% sure that the pain was of 32.99 euros!!!!!!

I shut up.
Knowing the price(value) of pain, even to the second decimal place is incredible!

Indeed who am I to judge the value of pain? especially the pain which I myself have not experienced?

Dear friends, this is no joke. I became very philosophical after this dialogue, had three more glasses of wine and tried to ponder deeply on this subject. Every time, the question took me deeper and deeper into the matter and I needed another glass to help me......

Before losing myself into the philosophy of life and everything complicated, let me cook some food. Food is needed for everything...

.....and drinks...also needed for everything.

;-)

Chicken Soba soup with Bok choy

I have lived in Japan for a long time. This dish took me years back to Japan, the same fresh taste, the same flavour, the same moments .....warm nostalgia in a bowl.

Ingredients:

• Soba noodles
• 1 Onion (chopped)
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 2 carrots sliced
• 3 baby bak choy (sliced into two)
• 4 cloves of garlic chopped
• 200 gms of chicken strips
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper
• 2-3 tbsp soya sauce
• Chicken or Vegetable broth (Water is also fine)
• Black pepper

Ready steady cook

• Boil the soba noodles for 3-4 mins , drain with cold water  and keep aside.
• In a pan add the olive oil. Add the chopped garlic and the onions. Saute for a while.
• Add the chicken and the carrots. Fry for a while and add the bokchoy.
• Add the seasonings (salt, cayenne pepper, soya sauce, black pepper).
• Add the stock and bring to a boil. Let it simmer for 10 minutes.
• Put the soba in a bowl and pour the soup on top. Serve hot hot hot.

The exam season and some "flash back"

Yesterday while listening to a conversation of exam-worried mothers (my friends) on Whatsapp, I had a 'flash-back' moment.

Although for me, the board-exam-worried-mother phase is yet to begin [A-junior is still going to elementary school with a lunchbox and a water bottle], but I know that there is no escape. Especially, having studied in that system (in India), I totally  understand what the moms are going through.

Roles have changed. Now, we have become the mothers of the examinees and that is a very different feeling from being the examinee ourselves (this is true irrespective of country, system or culture).

There is stress in both cases but the 'type' of stress is different.

The examinee thinks  'will I be able to answer the questions'?

The Mother thinks "will he be able to answer the questions? Did he study enough? He is always on the ipad, when did he study? Will he have a good future? Am I too strict? How can I help him keep focus? Where can I ...? How can I ....? When can I ..?"

[I can fill the whole page with questions that race through her mind]

The stress is 'different'  .....

On Whatsapp, I wished my friend's son all the best saying "Physics is a piece of cake, cool" and asked my friend to "chillax"!!
In my heart, I went back to my days of stress....drifted into some "flash back " moments.......

Subject: Physics.

Time: Class 12th, pre-board exam

I was terribly stressed. The chapters Heat, Light and Electricity were to blame. So many problems, so many diagrams, so much theory! Really felt like the most difficult day of my life, Physics exam.

After the usual "baba ma ke pronam and doi -er tip"[blessings from parents and yogurt for good luck], I left for the examination hall. 
(Even today, when I am writing about it on my blog for fun, it still gives me the goose bumps, ha ha!). 
Anyway, the bell rang and the question papers were distributed. I quickly glanced through the paper. First glance told me that I knew most of the answers quite well. The good news was there were no problems from the chapters Heat and Electricity! Phew, what a relief, almost too good to be true! 

My pen started rolling. Since most problems were relatively known and within my comfort zone, I took time to draw nice diagrams with all answers, drew straight margins and tried to continue in the best of my handwriting..slow and steady. I even sharpened my pencil once or twice.  Having successfully finished my paper, I walked out of the hall, confident and happy. While riding back home, together with a friend, she asked, "Could you answer the question on coefficient of thermal expansion ?"
I fell from the sky. 
"But there were no questions on heat and electricity", I replied back.

My friend gave me a shocked look and said "What?? About half the questions were from those two chapters!!"

I could not believe my ears.....Hastily took out the question paper from my bag and glanced again. She took the paper from my hands and turned it! Next page had 5 questions on heat and electricity!

In my super-stress-converted-to-super-relief state of mind, I did not turn the page.

I had only answered/attempted half the questions.....

The world around me started becoming hazy as tears filled up my eyes.........
Managed to 'just' pass.

Subject: Physics.

Time: BSc, final exam

Again terrible stress. Exam time. Girls studying everywhere. Home sickness. Power cut. Candles. Mosquitoes. Hostel mess serving shitty food --gourd curry and rice, thats it!

(have to build up the sympathy factor among my readers to make them relate to my stress). 
Parents were not around, so no 'baba ma ke pronam' but friends made sure that we had the 'doi-er phonta' [yogurt luck]. 

A bit of digression here...have to say that friends in hostel become more than family.

The exam hall was as usual - tense.

Question papers were distributed. One quick glance and I realized that I did not know the answers to most of the questions. Read it again, as if reading it twice would trigger the 'light bulb' moment. Still blank. No clue where to start. Heart pounded so loudly .....I was certain everyone could hear it. I did not even dare to look up from my paper fearing that everyone else had started writing. I tried a few seconds of 'ooommmm' with closed eyes and then looked at the question paper again. Still the same unknown questions. Then I heard a hustle beside me. Looked up and saw a friend of mine submitting the answer paper and leaving the room. Within 5 mins another girl left. Looked around to see more blank faces like mine....I did not have the guts to leave a blank answer paper.
Focus focus, there must be something .......you have studied, girl!
There was one question which (on repeated reading) started to feel vaguely familiar.  A tangent galvanometer problem. I tried to solve the problem and then as an after thought wrote about all the different types of galvanometers I studied. 
;-)
At some point of time the stress vanished (surrendered to fate), a new nirvana sort of feeling kicked in and I found a few more things to write.
Have no clue how I managed to pass that paper......

Subject: Physics.

Time: MSc, 1st year
This incident actually comes from borrowed memory of my roomie-best-friend M. During our exam related discussion on whatsapp yesterday, she asked me how could I ever forget my stress during the master's exams?
I do not remember much of it. She does because she was my room mate...and am sure she had her Botany exams that day too!!;-))
Apparently I had serious stress for that paper (must be Electronics) and went for the exams already with a long face. Came back crying ...exams went very bad.  She said 'half of the hostel was there in our room in the evening to comfort you, you were so heart broken'.
;-))

How can a person with such a history even dare to say  "Physics is a piece of cake" and  "chillax"??
The only reason she can is because for her exams are "over" and she is not going to take one single exam anymore ..........kuch bhi ho jaye....
hihihihihi..hahahaha...hohohoho.....

I do not have a recipe today. 
Instead, let me share a photo from my camera which is so serene, so peaceful, so relaxing.....am sure will help to cope with some of your stress, specially if you are a mom and a Physics exam is coming up.....

photo: www.pinterest.com